What does it feel like to have adhd

Discover Exactly What ADHD Feels Like On A Daily Basis

I searched Quora for questions surrounding ADHD. There were so many answers, from real people, talking about their world and how ADHD has affected it.

Some shared their personal frustrations while others highlighted the creative upsides of a life with ADHD. Some were downright hilarious.

I was most struck by the quality of responses, and how willing people were to share their personal worlds, in order to help shed more light on what it feels like to have ADHD.

I collected some answers that popped out at me, and thought you might like them too. Let’s dive in!

What ADHD feels like

What does ADHD feel like to you?
Tell us your story in the comments below!


So, What Does It Feel Like To Have ADHD?

The Understeering Analogy

what is it like to have adhd brain understeering

This analogy is absolutely fantastic. It explains what mornings feel like with ADHD. It comes from Colin. Here it is:


adhd brain broken

Have you ever driven a car without power-steering? It’s a practical example of what the understeering effect is really like.

You have to work extra hard on something that normally shouldn’t take much effort, just to avoid going off the road.

A bad ADHD day can feel like this. It’s frustrating when you have to work harder than usual to complete a simple task.

Here’s a visual of what understeering looks like:

having adhd feels like your brain is understeering

The Low RAM Effect

The next ADHD analogy was posted anonymously on Quora, but it’s the one I probably identify with most.

what is it like to have adhd

Here’s more from the Quora post:

adhd brain feels like a computer with low ram

Ever used an old Macbook with an outdated operating system and tried opening more than one application at a time? what happens?

The dreaded spinning beach ball.

For me, having ADHD feels like my brain is a spinning beach ball.

The Open Tabs Analogy

Our next insight into how ADHD feels comes from Pat Noue with another ADHD analogy involving computers.

adhd feels like a browser with too many tabs open

Here is more of Pat’s quora post explaining what ADHD feels like:

adhd quora open tabs

The Constant Buzzing

what add feels like

Having ADHD can feel like an itch that needs scratching, only it’s in your mind. Spencer Reed describes more in his Quora answer:

Task Anxiety

Sometimes having ADHD can make you feel anxious about mundane tasks.

when a task isn't stimulating it becomes adhd anxiety

Anne K. Halsall elaborates on how ADHD and anxiety can play off one another in her Quora post:

What is it like to have ADD or ADHD

Paying Attention and Losing Things

ADD/ADHD isn’t so much about a lack of attention as it is about attention regulation.

what its like having adhdadhd and losing things

In his Quora answer, Peter Herring talks about the ability to regulate attention when you have ADHD, and also about losing things:

having add/adhd and losing things

The Steam Roller Effect

Sometimes, when you’re caught in the symptoms of ADHD, and you feel stuck, life still doesn’t stop for us to catch up.

Lisa Perry uses some humor to describe what can happen next.

having add feels likeadd and austin poiwers
The Roller Coaster
adhd feels like a roller coaster

ADHD can come with some ups-and-downs for sure. Curtis Dickinson talks about the roller coaster ride ADHD can feel like…and also what helps smooth it out.

coffee smooths out ADHDadd quora roller coaster answer

Where Are My Keys!?

Valerie Fletcher gives our next account, and it teeters between frustration and hilarity. She uses the example of how misplacing your keys can turn into a downward spiral.

Valerie Fletcher on What It's Like Having ADHD :

“I have time gaps, thought gaps. You know when you lose something, and they tell you to retrace your steps? 98% of the time, I can’t.

It goes something like this, “Okay, I grabbed my keys as I was heading out the door, now I’m at my car and I’m holding my dog’s leash. Holding my keys, by the door… at the car. F***! I JUST HAD THEM!!! Why does this always happen to me? I’m such a mess, God I forgot to get that stain off my pants. AGH, my keys, WHERE ARE MY KEYS?!?!”
ADHD quote about what ADHD feels like
Valerie Fletcher (continued)

This is a big part of the ADD for me. I spend a few precious minutes just thinking about how horrible I am for being in my thirties and not having “fixed” this yet, and how I really need to go back to the psychiatrist to get started on medication again (but it makes my mouth dry at 4:30 every day,) when I could be actually looking for the keys.

Then I empty out my purse on the ground, go through all the pockets, lament the fact that I got a purse with so many pockets, when I realize I was supposed to be at work 10 minutes ago. Thank god my work has somewhat flexible hours. So, this particular dance, or a version of it, happens almost every day.

I have just recently (at like, twenty-eight) figured out that if I AM holding a completely different item, which is often the case, that the thing I need is probably in the spot that the item I am holding used to be. Just last week my husband found my glasses in the medicine cabinet. I am blind without them, so there is no logical reason whatsoever they should be anywhere other than by my bed. My husband often checks the refrigerator for things I ‘was holding just a second ago.’ “

She describes the ADHD brain with an analogy I thought was pretty great (seriously, those with ADHD can come up with the most amazing analogies for the ADHD experience).

Valerie also highlight the fact that although ADHD can be frustrating, it also feels tied to her personality, and perhaps if she was given the choice to, she wouldn’t give it up.

Valerie Fletcher - ADHD Metaphor :

Say you have a filing cabinet, and all the information is inside, but instead of alphabetical order, everything has been arranged every hour by a different person who did what made sense to them at the time. That’s about how I feel my brain works.

Which, really, can be great. What some call random associations, others call creativity. And, yeah, “being in the zone” aka hyper-focusing, is amazing, when it happens. Unless you’re hyper focused on how best to answer a quora query.

The weird thing is, some of the aspects that others would call my “personality” are tied to ADD. They are a part of me that I wouldn’t want to give up.

 

Fascinated By Nearly Everything

This first excerpt comes from Kyle Pennell, who earned a Quora Top Writer 13′ Award, and who’s profile bio reads, “Fascinated by nearly everything“.

His example reflects the curiosity that often consumes those with ADHD:

tools for adhd free download
Kyle Pennell on What It's Like Having ADHD :

“First and foremost, I approach life with intense energy and curiosity. I’m always planning something, always coordinating something, always doing something. My life has always been filled with projects.

In high school, it was mountain bike trails and extreme sports videos, then it was trips abroad, college student clubs, and dance parties. Now I’m slowly learning code and becoming a better writer. I’m always scheming something and chewing on something (mentally).
I’m extremely curious. The world absolutely fascinates me and I can’t stop trying to learn more about it.Kyle Pennell
I’m extremely curious. The world absolutely fascinates me and I can’t stop trying to learn more about it. The internet enables this to get to extreme levels. Amazon one-click allows me to impulse buy on books that I don’t have time to read (my roommates are tired of all the packages).

I read too much online: I tear through comment sections and forums. Reddit, Hacker News, Quora, NYT reader comments—I gorge my mind on them. So much depth, so much character, it’s all so damn fascinating.
People tell me I have amazing insights and ideas but what do I have to show for them?Kyle Pennell
I’m still in the process of improving my brain. I want it to be strong and flexible, capable of creating great things. It’s taking practice, but I’m learning the art the working in bursts: going hyper focus on things for a short while and taking a break.

Reddit, Hacker News, Stumble, Quora—these are all great but I’ve started to seriously cut down my info intake. There’s always one more
article, there’s always one more comment thread. There’s always something I can tear into and dwell on for hours–but what is it all that intense contemplation really worth?

What about actually making something great? What about getting shit done and creating something? People tell me I have amazing insights and ideas but what do I have to show for them? If I can learn to channel my energy and curiosity into real productivity, I will be a force.”

Kyle goes on to describe how he has to balance out his curiosity, and finishes with an incredibly insightful metaphor for what having ADHD feels like:

Kyle Pennell - ADHD Metaphor :

Here’s a metaphor: having ADHD/ADD is like having an iPhone loaded with apps and enabling notifications for all of them.
If you did this on an iPhone, you’d get overwhelmed with “someone tagged you in X” “So and so checked in at X” “You’ve received a coupon for nearby y” notifications every couple minutes. Only through practice and discipline are you actually able to turn those notifications off and actually get some function out of your tool. In this case it’s my mind.”

The Juggling Act

This third excerpt is from Rachel Binfield. She describes her experience with ADHD using an analogy that I thought was fantastic:

Rachel Binfold's Answer on Quora

Not only are you trying to juggle, but you also don’t have a firm surface under your feet. It takes LOTS more concentration just to keep juggling because you’ve got the mental overhead of staying upright.Rachel Binfold
“Every few years, I go to the local Renaissance festival. There’s a guy there who juggles all kinds of random things – balls, swords, hats, fire, you name it. Then, he gets on a unicycle. Someone throws him each of the objects in turn and he starts juggling again.
I’m sure he’s practiced for years to do this, but when you watch him, he’s shaking back and forth on the unicycle with an intense amount of concentration. In just a few minutes, you can see the sweat start to bead on his brow from the effort. Even as a professional, he does actually drop things occasionally. It’s not too long after that when the show ends and he gets to stop.
Unfortunately, life never lets you stop juggling – there’s work projects, home projects, kids activities, household chores, personal life… Without ADHD (or any mental disorder, for that matter), you’re standing on the stage juggling.

With adult ADHD, you’re on the unicycle. Not only are you trying to juggle, but you also don’t have a firm surface under your feet. It takes LOTS more concentration just to keep juggling because you’ve got the mental overhead of staying upright. PLUS you have way more balls, because your projects are broken up into smaller pieces. Plus the balls are painted with super shiny colors. Your attention flits between the many balls because they’re all coming at you at the same time and you can’t just focus on one of them. If you happen to have a passion for red and deeply focus on those, you’re going to drop something else.”

Rachel finishes by highlighting something those with ADHD know all too well: the fact that most people don’t know the balancing act is taking place. She also chimes in with an analogy about what medication is like for ADHD.

Rachel Binfold's Answer on Quora (continued)

Medication is like putting training wheels on the unicycle. It takes the edge off the juggling act so that you can slow down and focus on each ball a little betterRachel Binfold
“The most unfortunate thing is that the unicycle is invisible. No one gives you credit for the difficulty level of the juggling act. All they see are the number of dropped balls, not the effort it takes to keep them in the air. Because what matters in the adult world is the answer to the equation. You don’t get partial credit for showing your work.

Medication is like putting training wheels on the unicycle. It takes the edge off the juggling act so that you can slow down and focus on each ball a little better.”

Chasing Balloons

Randall Munroe’s creates comics for the web on his website www.xkcd.com. One Quora user simply posted one of Randall’s cartoons as her response. It comes from his website, and it’s labeled, “ADD”.

It captures the ADD/ADHD experience well:

what is it like to have add
Doing Things Differently

Ben Mordecai is an Automation Controls Engineer, and has earned a Top Writers Award on Quora for three years running: 2013, 2014, and 2015.

In his response he talks about how, with his ADHD, he resolved to simply doing things a little different, and lists a few examples.

Ben Mordecai's Brief Snapshot on What It's Like Having ADHD :

– I must have plenty of coffee to function. Before I drank coffee in college, certain professors induced a Pavlovian response of yawning and exhaustion. Post coffee, my comprehension sky-rocketed, and now I am pretty productive at work

– Minor, non-distractions help a lot. A drink to sip and background music consume just enough of the spare mental overhead to prevent myself from trying to think about something else at the same time as I work on something.

– I have to be extremely organized. Calendars, spreadsheets, notes, reminders, and self-written tutorials all help me focus my attention at solving the problem.

– I have to accept that it’s just going to take me longer to do something and be willing to persist through it.
What Does Your ADHD Feel Like?

If you’re reading this and have ADHD yourself, maybe some of these stories hit home. I would love to hear more examples.

What is your experience with ADHD like? Tell us your story in the comments below. I look forward to hearing it, and saying hello.

UPDATE: Feb 12th, 2017

It would be fun to update this list and include your thoughts and experiences (yes, you reading this) about what ADHD feels like.

SO, if you have ADHD, leave a comment below describing what ADHD feels like to you.

After we generate a few, I will add a section to this post, including them. I look forward to reading them.

 

Comments 220

  1. It’s like having a hundred tvs on all at the same time, on different channels, on medium to low volume. I love my work and my job, and yet I can go multiple days that I get almost nothing done. But the second something urgent comes through, I get the laser focus and bang it out. I’m kind of lucky that I have huge anxiety about letting people down, because that’s pretty much what got me through school and helps with work and social interactions. I grew up wondering what was wrong with me and was I lazy or weak-willed, but luckily I have a really supportive family, and I’ve been able to develop a lot of coping mechanisms.

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      1. Adam, I find being accountable to someone who’s just checking on my progress doesn’t work. Being accountable to someone who’s going to be inconvenienced, embarrassed or otherwise put-out by my lack of delivery does work. The emotional stimulation of a real threat is energising. The pretend threat of “I’ll notice you haven’t done what you told me” isn’t.

        One of ADHD’s prime features is that we have an interest driven neuro system. Not threat- or reward-driven. I can know I’ll be in big trouble if I don’t do my tax paperwork, but it doesn’t feel as real or stimulating as the challenge or writing some really cool Excel spreadsheet automation to maximise my tax returns.

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          David, you make a great point in regards to different types of accountability!

          Re: your comment:
          “Being accountable to someone who’s going to be inconvenienced, embarrassed or otherwise put-out by my lack of delivery does work”

          I’ve found this to be true a lot of the time, in myself, and with coaching clients. Having someone check-in with you on progress may be better than nothing at all. However, a better trick is getting honest with yourself and designing a situation with REAL and higher stakes. Sometimes it’s just gotta be REAL!

          1. I’m the same way, “fake” accountability doesn’t work for me. If it isn’t real, my mind usually just ignores it. Same goes for all other “fake” manipulations I’ve tried in-order to trick my mind, like changing my clock/alarm times. My ADHD brain cannot be tricked, it’s too smart!

      2. I know I am two years late and this probably is not a thing any more. But my adhd makes me feel like my entire existence and personality is a semi automatic assault rifle in a war zone. That sounds negative but I also view it as a blessing to be quick and that I really really have no fear.

    2. I often wonder what career path is a good fit for me, as I have a real problem with focus. I have my BA and MBA however, I have trouble holding a job because of my zoning out and hyper focus. I also find that if something involves research or some challenging issue that is like a puzzle to solve I am your go to employee. One of my former bosses had asked me if I had ADHD. He liked having me in the office to do all the complex paper work no other former employee would delve into.
      For me, it was a mission. Now I’m thinking maybe I should look further into this. I am also one of those people that has at least 20 tabs open at once…because “I’m researching”.

        1. My other greatest concern with my career success if timeliness. I have such a hard time getting to work on time. I try to get creative about my excuses because I feel like the real excuse sound to silly to my bosses. The real reason is something like the example of trying to find keys. When I am caught up in something as I’m getting ready for work, that something consumes my attention to the point that I become unaware of time. Once I “come to” and realize that I need to check the time, the time passes is always way later than I felt it was. For example, what I thought was five minutes was really twenty minutes. This is all a lot to explain to a boss and to hope they can process and truly understand. Because I know my bosses have never really understood or known why I have really been late for work so often, I feel anxiety every time I am late for fear of getting fired. The flip side of being late most days is that I have stayed later than other employees and have been more invested and successful with the duties of my job than others. I wish bosses would understand this and put less focus on being late for those of us with ADHD and more focus on the core contributions made. This would decrease the anxiety and shame I feel every time I’m late (which is most days).

          1. I’m in the same boat, Amy. I’ve never met anyone who is better at researching and finding solutions to things, and most of my closest friends and colleagues would concur. I can spend 2 days and go through thousands of tabs researching something to figure something out without getting tired.

            I would love to be a full-time researcher and/or “problem-solver” of some type, but I haven’t been able to find a way to do it. I’ve applied to professional research jobs, but my background doesn’t usually fit what they are looking for, so I get weeded out and haven’t even had the chance to interview. I feel very frustrated because I know that my talents could be used to really make a difference wherever I am–though it would help if people actually understood my “ADHD issues” and worked with them.

            Similar to Cici22, I have severe issues with time-management / being on-time to work, and that has led to me being fired from several jobs despite usually doing a good-excellent job and only occasionally dropping the ball. I also tend to work many more hours than anyone else, after work, but that is never recognized and they make excuses about wanting me to have “work-life balance,” and that they aren’t asking me to stay till past midnight every night, just that they want me in on-time.

            I really don’t understand that logic. It’s not like I’m really affecting anyone else’s work. Not to mention, there is no recognition of the fact that different people have different energy cycles, and some of us don’t work best in the morning. My peak energy hours are at night, so most of my mornings are widdled away unproductively anyways. If they actually let me get enough rest and come in at a time that is suitable I would do even better, but I haven’t had the luck of getting a job that has flexible hours. And, the thing is, it’s not like the work I’m doing requires specific hours in the first place, which I would kinda understand. I’ve always done sales and marketing type jobs, and in general, I can get my job done on my own hours if I was allowed to.

            I’ve struggled with trying to become a morning person my whole life, but it has never stuck. My inability to get things done in the morning always leads me to working late at night.

            I’ve tried to start my own businesses and/or do freelance consulting, which I think I would like, but I have a hard time keeping myself motivated and able to do all of the small/routine tasks required to do that successfully. I’ve failed at that pretty bad a few times, as well. I feel like I need external accountability and a team structure around me to help do the shitty things I can’t do, and I work better when having someone to bounce ideas off of, as well. I just wish I could find a company/boss who understands my idiosyncracies and uses my strengths (and “very high IQ”) to their advantage.

          2. One last frustration I have is that I’m basically a medicine “non-responder.”

            I’ve tried all of the medications and supplements that have been researched for ADHD, in every dose, including combinations of them, and nothing has really helped me “fix” the core (executive function) issues I deal with. At first, some of them seemed kinda promising, but then my brain would adapt and higher doses wouldn’t do anything else except give me side effects.

            I still take stimulants to help me with my morning energy problems, but other than increased energy, I don’t feel like they have really helped me with anything else. Not to mention, they have made my lifelong sleep problems even worse.

            I also tried cannabis (both THC and CBD) and it only made things worse. Ashwagandha was helpful with anxiety, though, and I still occasionally take it (increases GABA and reduces cortisol).

            I’ve also been doing meditation on-and-off the past 15 years and it hasn’t helped much either. I still do it because it does help me relax myself, clear my mind, and deal with my emotions better, but I’m still as scatter-brained as ever. One huge benefit is that I used to have an explosive temper with people, but with my years of meditation, that is all gone.

            Finally, paradoxically, exercise in the morning makes me sleepy, so I couldn’t do that, and at night it makes it even harder for me to sleep, so I only occasionally exercise because it does help me get out of bad mood funks (but I don’t really see much improvement with my executive function). I like to walk in nature, though the area I live in isn’t super conducive to that.

            I still want to try CBT therapy, psychedelics (especially Ayahuasca/DMT), transcranial and/or vagal nerve stimulation, and neurofeedback… any other recommendations?

          3. Sounds like every single morning of mine. I’ve been trying to get into management, but being 5 to 15 minutes late every day far outweighs my excellent work performance, in their eyes anyway. It’s extremely frustrating.

    3. Watching TV that tunes in and out of different channels with the radio on in the background. What is existence? Being in the same box room as someone, for them it is a quite room, with ADHD the room is ‘loud’.

    4. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 60
      If it wasn’t for my dear brother who committed suicide at 56 I would still be thinking I was stupid, lazy and just a disappointment to my friends and family. I went to a Dr to get help with my grief after my brother passed.
      He spent adequate time with me to see that I have had ADHD most of my life. I was put on medication and suddenly all the voices in my head that were all talking over each other stopped. I heard one thought at a time not 100 thoughts all trying to get me to listen and react all at the same time!
      I struggled in school,I struggled at work, I had major struggles with the men in my life. Married 3 times. My present husband is the only one that took time to help me
      I know feel like I have a purpose in life. I can walk into a restaurant by myself , that was impossible before my diagnosis, I actually make plans with my friends and family and follow through!
      I felt so safe in my home I never wanted to leave home.
      I am getting better at coping daily.
      I just wish my family understood what I am going through and how hard it is for me to do everyday tasks I feel they think I am just scatter brained. There is still such a stigma attached to illness people can’t see
      I hope I can educate even just one person. I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking to fit in and be accepted ❤️

      1. Kathy, I hate so much that you’ve lived 60 years not knowing there is actually a real reason for your “scattered brain.” I have been so fortunate to have a husband and friends that have been a huge support for me. I used to tell my husband that I thought I was literally going crazy sometimes and couldn’t understand why my friends, who had so much more going on than I, could handle everything and I was overwhelmed by the few things I had to take care of. It was when my son was being diagnosed with ADD at 6 years old that I realized I had the exact same struggles. I was 36. I was doing some research at the library on ADHD and ran across a book with a bright red spine. The title was, You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy? by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. Of course, that peaked my interest and when I read the introduction, I genuinely felt like someone had been reading my mind all of my life. I highly recommend it. It will take you back to all the times in your life where you wondered why you couldn’t remember things, or get things done, or felt stupid because you couldn’t repeat something interesting you heard. The “Aha!” factor is so relieving. Medication has made a huge difference for me but doesn’t cure everything. As part of my ADHD, I struggle with executive function disorder – the ability to organize information in your brain, manage time, remember things. I spend half my time looking for things I’ve misplaced or put in a “safe” place. I’ve learned a lot of strategies to help with some of those things, like writing on my calendar or putting a reminder on my phone of where I put things, but I still struggle. One thing I want to caution you about is the possibility that your medication may become less effective over time. Take heart. You may need to tweak the dosage or switch medications. And for me, it just helps tremendously to know I’m not just lazy, stupid, or crazy. There is a real REASON (not excuse – I take responsibility for my inadequacies, like being late all the time) for my struggles. And I have a family and friends who are willing to remind me of things I need to do. I impress upon my now grown kids that when people ask them if they got something done, say thank you! Even if they did remember, say “I did, but thanks for reminding me anyway. I appreciate your support.” Unfortunately, there are many nay-sayers and you just have to dismiss them for their ignorance. Blessings to you and I pray that you have the support you need, even from the people who don’t understand or believe in ADHD.

      2. I so relate. Im 50 an just dx. Now I know what was erong all those years in school. Inattentive type. Female. Im adopted to so no family history. Now I know why I had all these gradios ideas for careers, like astronaut, race care driver, chef, forensics pathologist, geezz..but I also had a little dyslexia. But that went away it seemed by 11th. Nothing made sense in school. Esp Math. Low C student. But research something! Boy I still do that. Health Care seemed to be by hyperfocus. An that was what I went into at 18. But with added responsibility the ANXIETY goes waaay up. Now I’ve quit work for 10 yrs first to stay home with my 2 sons, at time were 11 an 7, then in 2012 my Father got real sick an I started being my parent’s caregiver. That was 7 yrs ago. Now juggling 2 families an all issues but parent’s issues alot more detailed an more responsibility. Im about to go over a cliff. Ive got depression an anxiety an fibromyalgia. Started menopause at 46. Thats when depression an anxiety started. I had been taking Tramadol an was up to 8 or 10 a day. But taking it was like a fog lifted an I could function. Not high. Just like I was normal or something. No depression an anxiety. Ive had anxiety since a child. But took Tramadol originally for stress fracture in 2005. It was like a miracle drug for me. Our middle child passed in 2000 an I didnt realize I was depressed or new what was wrong. Then we had our third child a son in 2002. Enter Tramadol in 2005. Wow! Told it was non addictive. Yeah rt. 2 wasnt enough so took 3 an on up I went. Finally in 2014 I asked for helped detoxing off it, not knowing it was helping my ADD, depression an anxiety an fibromyalgia an not knowing PAWS would come an still here fr stopping it. Its been one antidepressant after another. 10 of them. An 2 mood pills. Then in Dec tested for ADD. Turns out I scored high prob 60 or 70% sure. My 21 yr old has it. I can see it now. He to has been going undx. He is very smart but has all the symptoms . Procrastination, impulsive behavior an decisions, smoking but trying to stop rt now. Doesnt know what career or how to get there an sick of Mom an Dad trying to help. It just adds to the ADD anxiety we have. Ive made dumb decisions that cost us financially I wish I had not done. We would have our house paid of already 10 yrs ago! Now Im on stimulant #2. Adderall XR was horrible. Now on Concerta 10mg, im sensitive to meds apparently. Slow metabolism. But I want to go back to Tramadol with a controlled prescription. Back when I took it it was scgeduled like now an I have no desire to take that many a day anyway just get me out of this hell in my brain an rid of the depression an anxiety an now pain fr fibromyalgia. ADD people need a stimulant of some sort. Be it nicotine. Drugs. Caffeine. Alcohol. Risky behaviour. Etc…my brain wont shut up. An now since I have to remember everything for both parents who both have alot wrong an on multi meds an multi Dr’s an appts, I load pill boxes, get refills, get groceries, argue with Dr office nurses who are 50% dumb an dont do job, argue with home health, oxygen place, pay their bills an I cant even balance a checkbook an I dont my parent’s. I sometimes forget till last min their bills an ours! My husband works an is sflf employed. But fr outside my sister an some others think…”she doesnt have a full time job like me!”. Are you serious!! Its a 24/7 job. Im on call 24/7 if a emergency happens. In ER for 8 hrs. Sittin in hospital for hrs. An then my own house issue’s. It has caused marital an finance big probs. So my brain is flipping switches now faster than my emotions can keep up an I blow sometimes an feel horrible after. A human can only take so much stress an responsibility. It would be nice to be daughter again an not drill sergeant caregiver an have a normal life an have a normal job with others like me or my age. Ive lost friends over all this an my sister doesnt help really or even understamd. Id like her to care totally for parents for a month an gave some Dr visits in that month to. So she will see wjat its like dealing with my Dad, narcissistic his way or highway an does nothing now but lay in bed due to untreated sleep apnea! Wow you can see I do have ADD. Jumping around topics. Sorry so long. But just saying I get it. It sucks to me. An I wish I had a ” do-over”.

    5. I am the parent of an ADHD child. He was diagnosed at age 8. He took Concerta until grade 6. Then he struggled with taking medication. Was not consistent in taking medication. Grades took a hit downward. Managed to get into a private high school. Boys only and focused onspomts and education. Lots of one-on-one throughout high school. Always ran late. Leaving for school, homework, projects. Lots of school-forgiveness. Makes friends easily and loses them as fast. Makes good impression when speaking to adults, who immediately see his potential, only to have him drop-the-ball. Tells me “its all about the show”. No, it’s not. Was awarded an academic college to major University. He attended and was party-central for first semester. Managed to attend 2nd semester. Never got his grades because he was too afraid to find out if he TOTALLY failed. Just decided to NOT GO BACK in the next fall. Attended 2 diff junior colleges. All with failures. After 5 years, does not have 1 year of college completed. Lazy about working. Gets fired from nearly every job or has problems with co-workers. Have taken him to many many different Psychologists and counselors. Feels nothing is his fault, its everyone else. Is a bully, depressed, anxious. etc. Was admitted to ED in January because I pressured him to give me his grades for on-line last semester. He confessed he just can’t look for fear he failed again. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety. He has a gifted IQ. Can play the piano by sound. He is well-read. Very knowlegable. FAILURE TO LAUNCH. Was participating in Coahing and ADHD skills classes, then just dropped it. Was seeing a Psychologist then just dropped the sessions. AT A LOSS AS TO HOW TO HELP HIM… Thoughts?

      1. its quite interesting looking at things from a parent’s perspective. I would love to talk about this in more detail with you. Please send me an email.

        Thanks.

        1. Its like when there’s you, and you have to babysit 2 children. One is clingy, and likes trying to get your attention, telling you random things, and distracts you, the other runs around causing trouble. These two both keep your mind off What’s important, and only what’s important to them. You can only keep them calm with music or t.v before they are back at it.Sometimes you love the little twirps, and sometimes you want to bring their necks.

      2. Are you reading all the posts by the people with ADD on this thread? I am surprised no one else had chosen to respond to this. You make me angry, surprise someone with ADD getting angry 😳 ( and by the way I may become super focused on this response and spend way too much time out of my day making sure it’s perfect because I am passionate about trying to get you to understand, I also may ramble on and this be hard to read as all the thoughts pour out of my head at the same time so please TRY to bear with me, also I may leave this open on my phone along with the 20 other pages of shit I have open and have to come back to it later to perfect it as I am late to work because I tried to do too many things before leaving, lastly if I find my keys and speed to work I may get lost while I am thinking of 10 things I need to accomplish today and take a different way to work every time I go..) Now on to my point. What are YOU doing to help yourself become better and more understanding of what your loved one is going through other than trying to FIX him? Are YOU going to therapy by yourself to learn tricks about how to appropriately help/understand your ADD loved one? I can tell you that Looking at him as a FAILURE TO LAUNCH in all capitals and most of the other negative comments you said about him isn’t going to help and is probably going to make it worse as now you are reinforcing all the negativity he already has towards himself…when you go find some empathy and work on real ways you can help you get back to us then we can have a real discussion. By the way I am super proud of myself. I just finished this in one sitting and only had a couple of sentences that should really have been 4…

      3. I see my oldest going in a similar direction, as he prepares to graduate from high school this year. He has so much potential, but not the drive. I’m getting him to a doctor for depression, as I can see all of my own symptoms in him. We both have anxiety and ADHD, but the depression is only recently becoming an issue. Good luck, I’d also be interested in what other can suggest for you.

      4. AtWittsEndMom,
        We are in the same boat. My son too is very bright, very good grades through middle school and high school and is now 21 and we are done with college having attempted 3 times and he is still a freshman. By chance has something traumatic happened in his life? Divorce, death of a loved one? My son developed depression and anxiety as soon as he went to college that turned into panic attacks and blinding rage a few times a year. He is finally with a therapist who specifically deals with anger, trauma, and anxiety. It turns out my son has deep seeded anger toward his father and is now modeling behavior his father had. We were never married but the time he did spend with him was enough to scar him. He self sabotages everything good in his life b/c he feels he isn’t deserving. Failure to launch as well, the fear of looking at grades, ED visit, eviction from his apartment, etc. just as you described. He Is extremely personable and everyone loves him…until they don’t. His extreme reactions to seemingly nothing makes him a loose cannon.Emotional /verbal abuse is real and does a lot of damage especially to ADHD kids far more than I ever knew. I have ADHD too, but do not struggle with depression or anxiety. I have learned a lot from these past three years. Still learning and praying that my son finally has the right help/medicine/support, etc. If your son is willing to seek help, that is a good start. Find one who specializes in anger. Clearly he is angry and the repeated failures probably makes him even more angry. (Gifted people are way harder on themselves.-I’ve got one of those as well) Medication alone can’t solve the problem it has to be a two part approach.
        Also, NO YELLING. Yelling does not work for any one especially ADHD people. If they could change things they would. The frustration for you and your son is real and I completely empathize with you. You are not alone. One last thing. This is the hardest. At some point you have to let go and realize you have done all you can do. He is an adult and still needs support from you, but you can’t make him get help He has to want it.

      5. Take him out of the school box, maybe put him in a an art or music school. He has to be interested and passionate about what he wants to do. Tap into his hyper focus drive. Maybe a technical school that teaches audio production. First HE HAS to be interested in what he wants to learn. And maybe music is what he likes because it comes natural to him by nature . A school that does not focus on traditional semesters but one class every 6 to 8 weeks. I know that worked for me. I have been ADHD since I was 5. I have 2 degrees and two professional certificates. Once I figured out what I liked it only took 10 years for the first 2 degrees. I did it all working full time. Just help him find his passion and he will be ok.

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  2. It’s like I’m getting a million texts at one but only reply to one. It’s frustrating when people say that they understand what I’m going through when deep down I know they have know clue whats going on in my head.

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    2. I recently got in trouble from a family member about not responding to the text chain, the email chains, etc appropriately. I was called rude, but considering i have many siblings and there are many different emails and text chains, I literally can’t describe what happens. I got anxious when people are planning/talking about other things/sharing pictures/going back to planning, and usually dont read it until the last part that has a conclusion. I seem to drop the ball and everyone thinks its because I don’t care, but I care so much that I wait for everyone’s input, or get overwhelmed and plan on going back to it when I am less anxious.

  3. It’s like a door in your brain that opens to let information you need in and closes to stop information you don’t out, won’t stay shut and stays open for every piece of information that wants to get in.

    1. I have to agree to this. Mine is similar but for me it’s as if I have this tape of a billion thoughts running a loop around my head and these thoughts are relentless and overlapping. The cacophony of these loops finally sinks me down into an inexplicable fog of exhaustion. It’s hell for me on many days

  4. I have a Rolodex flipping constantly back and forth trying to grasp infotmation. Wanting always to flick back and forth until I hit the right card and then super focussed, until I need to flip again.

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  5. My medicine is absolutely crucial to my functioning as an adult.
    Think of attention as a sink drain. Most people are able to completely drain the water coming from the faucet just fine, and these are people with normal attention.
    Then there are people who’s drains aren’t the most effective, the water backs up a little bit in the basin, but if the stream is normal the risk of overflowing is very low.
    Then there people with drains that are completely clogged, like myself, where if you don’t plunge it in the morning (the plunger being medication), the water will overflow and you’ll have a mess on your hands. But when you do plunge it, the drain works like it was never broken, but you have to do it every day or risk a disaster.
    I’ll give an example to show what I mean.
    I’m the stocking manager for a grocery store. I’m in charge of stocking product, ordering product, and keeping the storerooms and coolers organized. Yesterday I forgot to take my medication, and the job didn’t get done like it should. It normally takes me 1 hour to get everything put up, but yesterday it took me 3 hours because I literally couldn’t start doing it without stopping, my brain wouldn’t let me. It took everything I had just to get the bare minimum done.
    Today I took my medicine, and it took me less than 30 minutes to get the ordering done.

  6. Years ago a friend asked me what adhd is like, I said it’s like trying to watch 30 TVs at once and trying to focus on all of them. So what’s adhd like with your meds? Less TVs, still trying to focus on all of them…better, but not perfect

  7. It’s like I’m in the cockpit inside a giant robot, like a Transformer, whose only camera I have to steer is hanging from the outside and swinging.
    Sometimes the camera engages in a good position, sometimes it points to something and does not go out, and every now and then it feels like someone is out there moving the camera

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  8. Hi there, I’m 24 years old and recently diagnosed by my therapist, although I still have to get a Primary Care Physician before I can start medication therapy.

    I can tell you that for me, having ADD feels like a game of whack-a-mole. I hit one mole (Example: Remembering to pay bills on time) but there is always another popping up that I can’t seem to hit (Deadlines, remembering instructions, where I place things). It’s so frustrating and when I look back on all the times I’ve been criticised for my so-called bad listening habits, I just feel even worse. My boyfriend often gets upset with me because he thinks that I don’t listen to him. I try to explain to him that however frustrating it is to him, it’s worse to me because I feel like there is a communication barrier between us that I cannot break.

    3 months ago was when I finally came to the conclusion that I may have ADD or a possible learning disorder. This only came after my boss had a sit-down with me where she showed me all the seemingly careless mistakes I had made in such a short amount of time. I desperately tried to understand why and how I made so many mistakes, racking my brain and remembering all the times in my life I had been chastised for doing the same thing. Luckily, she was kind enough to listen and has been on my side through the diagnosis and everything. Had it not been for her caring enough to discuss it with me, I might have made an even bigger mistake and gotten fired. Although I chose to do therapy on my own accord, I credit her for helping me see the problem more clearly.

    It’s been tough to discuss publicly, but I know that my loved ones support me. I am a very self-conscious person and worry too much about what people will think when I bring up ADD. I watch carefully for facial expressions and eye signals, thinking they will write me off as “lazy” or “careless”, but the truth is that if they don’t have ADD themselves, they will never truly understand how debilitating it can be to go through the motions of it every single day. Losing keys (something my friends jab me about, it’s a bit of a running gag with me) or anything important sends me into a tailspin.

    After my diagnosis, I’m choosing to look at the bright side of it. I’m 24, I know that I am a bright and ambitious person, and once I get on track with this I plan on going for my dreams. No longer will ADD restrain me!

    1. I’m 31, and I’m only about two steps ahead of you.

      Get your Primary Physician ASAP. Might be best to get a reference from someone you know who has children with ADHD or has a similar experience. I’ve found that some doctors seem to think it’s just an excuse to get drugs, or think you’re exaggerating the debilitating qualities of your condition. I’ve spilled my guts enough times to know.

      But it’s SO WORTH IT. You deserve to feel better about yourself, and you won’t believe how freeing it is to be in control of your own focus. Well, more in control, anyway.

      Best of luck!

      1. I’m 34 and I got diagnosed sometime last year.

        I’ve been trying medications for over six months and so far, nothing has worked.

        I’m still in the grief and anger stages about late Dx.

        I’m so, so very frustrated by my ADHD. I just want to be a better me.

        I know medication can really help that if I find the right one, but I don’t know when that’s going to happen, and the not knowing really scares me.

        1. I know exactly how you must be feeling. It took me a while until I found the right one. And the road leading up to it is extremely frustrating. It’s also quite interesting how the milligrams work. I want to share my story with you because theres a chance you might have the right one, but need a different dose.
          My brother and I both had ADHD, and were diagnosed as kids. Both our bodys seems to really work well with one called Vyvanse.
          my little brother’s ADHD is more severe than mine and so he took 75mg of Vyvanse and I took 40mg. This is so wrong, and you most definitely should never do this, but I was in high school and thought no big deal (wasn’t thinking about the possibly illegal or “technical drug abuse” side of it) and I ran out of my prescription one day and needed my medication, the pharmacy was close so i didnt get my refill, so I took one of my brothers 75mg. I thought, if anything it was gonna be way better than my 40mg and I would be great that day. But for some reason, It felt like i didn’t even take meds that day. The 40mg was just the right dose for me and my body chemistry that the stronger pill didn’t help me as much.
          He also started me at 20mg, and that was just “eh” and we gradually up-ed it.

  9. The worst thing about ADHD is that nobody takes the time to really understand it. I don’t think like someone without it. My brain never takes the same road twice. I’m always looking for different ways to solve the task at hand. When a normal person is focusing on a single task, I’m focusing on 6,7,8 things at once, and it never shuts off. Are there times I wish I could, of course! But it’s also what makes me who I am, it’s me like it or not. I cant stand when people say this is a made up disorder, they don’t take the time to really try and learn how it affects my daily life.

      1. Great description! I’m always trying to find a new “better” way to do things.

        In the long run, I think it’s great, but people don’t understand why and they get frustrated why it takes me longer to do things sometimes. My justification is that once I find a better way to do it, it will be faster next time, which it is, but then I wanna further “optimize” the process (or other processes) again, and again.

        I love finding better ways to do things, even if it isn’t always the most efficient use of time up-front.

  10. I feel like normal people have some sort of filter in between their conscious and subconscious mind, stopping random or irrelevant ideas from interrupting their task at hand, and people with adhd still have a filter, but it’s full of holes, and when i’m trying to do something or think, random thoughts keep leaking through the holes in the filter.

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      Thanks for your comment, Aiden.

      You’re onto something here! Our brain automatically filters out data/stimuli that’s irrelevant or not important for the task at hand, etc.

      But with ADHD, sometimes it seems like it doesn’t do the job right, or the filters got big holes in it.

    2. My grandson has been diagnosed with ADD and I am looking for an answer about how he feels and how I can help him in school. His counselor told him in a meeting that he has a choice of what he focuses on and that doesn’t really sit well with me. Your post has opened my eyes on the difference in people with ADHD and people without. Thank you so much for sharing.

  11. Having ADHD is like having a friend always talking to you inside your head. Sometimes this friend takes you into his/her own head and you don’t realize you’ve even left your own.

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  12. I can’t concentrate. It’s like trying the hardest i can but never succeeding. I am also like the example with the balloons.

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      Thanks for your comment, Evelyn!

      Nothing is more frustrating than when you work extra hard, but it doesn’t make a difference… It can be downright heartbreaking.

      I’ve made a rule for myself and it’s helped me from repeated disappointment (that is when I stick to it!), and it’s this: I can’t try harder until I try it differently.

      And if I can’t think of a different way, then I find a friend who will brainstorm with me.

  13. Have you ever had that moment when you start to search for something only to realize you’ve had it in your hand the whole time. I was talking to a friend on my phone one time and in the middle of the conversation I said “wait a minute where’s my phone?” And my friend said “uhhh did you check your hand?” And I was like… “oh yeah.” But yeah I was reading the comments that people were saying on here and I was at the part where it says people with adhd come up with the best analogies and I was like “oh yeah! I can use my filing cabinet analogy!” And then I scroll down only to find out that somebody already thought of it.(what are the odds of that by the way?) So I’m trying to come up with something else right now but I can’t focus enough to come up with anything.(go figure) But whether it’s selective hearing (which can be a curse or a blessing depending on the situation) or you start to think about something and your mind decides to randomly change the channel on you and your like “hey! I was watching that!” Adhd is definitely a challenging mental affliction to have. I have little to no patience with anything I’m not interested in but I’m easily entertained by some of the most trivial and redundant activities. I have issues with pacing when I’m in deep thought but on the plus side I’m getting exercise. I think up multitudes of topics, ideas, and philosophies but forget them two seconds later. I constantly need to be doing something with my hands or I’ll go absolutely bonkers. And then there’s times when I go into hyper drive and I decide to do something like go for a walk but as I’m walking to the door to go outside I go into a hyperspace out and start to think about something else and all of the sudden I’m like “what was I doing again?…and wheres my damn phone!?” But at the end of the day (that is if your mind let’s your day end) your adhd isn’t going to go away. The best thing to do is embrace it and develop coping strategies that will benefit you in the long run. Medication might help too. By the way this comment took me hours to write because of various distractions (squirrel!) And at one point I completely forgot I was writing a comment in the first place. Lol

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      Wes, thanks for laying out so many experiences in your comment.

      Your example about how hard it is to have patience for anything you’re not interested in– how terribly (and at times torturously) true!

      Also, there was a campaign on kickstarter (check it out here) not too long ago that featured a new kind of fidget toy.

      It had a modest goal $15,000, but then it exploded, and by the the end, it had amassed over $6,000,000 of support! Apparently you’re not the only one who has the constant need to be doing something with your hands. 🙂

  14. I feel like machine sometimes. I feel like once I start something I can’t stop until I’m complete. Some people have trouble sleeping because their mind is always running. My mind and my body is running so much all day that when my head hits the pillow, I’m out in less than 3 min. because I’m exhausted.
    I have trouble in conversations because my mind is going so fast that I interrupt people or change the subject because I have so many things going on in my head that I want to say.
    When I drive, I’m all over the place because I get bored so I look around just to pass the time.
    I have little or no patience because if something I’m doing is boring or someone I’m talking to is boring me, I’m ready to check out and move on to the next thing.
    I feel like a freak sometimes because I’m like a car out of control all over the place.

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      1. Hi my names trent I’ve struggled with adhd throughout my life only just being recognized and diagnosed at 27 like most of you I have a thirst for knowledge and its allowed me to asses situations and people in great detail.dont get me wrong the impulsive nature and unintended emotional outbursts happen from time to time and sometime can last 10 minutes to days but because of my resilience to never give up I’ve always soldiered through.ive accomplished many skills each one.linked to another in one way or another lol I’m scaffolding atm and work with alot of rough tempermented and close minded individuals who are quick to assume me having no focus and lack of memory defines me as being their words stupid, but you see I understand how education works and how intelligence is measured mostly by general knowledge. But I have worked out how what we see intelligence is measured in reality which is experience you can read what you like and have a basic understanding on how a task or problem is solved then experiencing the said problem or task goes hand in hand then a third aspect is added which is wisdom knowing what works and what doesnt in different ways to assimulate the best action at hat given time . This is the guide line (wisdom) equation I have come up with and then still I would say I could be wrong as everything is a interesting hypothesis until proven otherwise.sorry about my rant that was my hyper focus kicking in back to where I left off I still struggle but having understanding of how everything works makes things much easier to deal with I’m having anxiety as I write this about tomorrow and how I will be tormented by my working peers even though I know I realise my inabilities at given times because my emotions are hyper sensitive without control and embarrassment also plays a part on top of being ridiculed on top.of the guilt I will let them down and myself at the same time the hatred and anger because they dont understand and I want to hurt them and then remorse because I would let them win and then anger again because I wasn’t stronger and then sadness because I mite not ever be able to have a full day of being consistent and keeping focus and the cycle back over again fun stuff lol

    2. Yes I feel that way and when I get bored at mundane work assignments I go on auto pilot for that task making mistakes because my brain is elsewhere thinking of more entertaining thoughts or even what’s for dinner then 50 other things pop in my head so I turn in my work and there’s mistakes. When I look at the mistakes they give back I think I’m not that stupid how did I miss that. I struggle every day it’s hard to focus its hard to stay on one task. I always thought that’s how everyone was but was better at fixing thier errors before turning in work. I didn’t know that you can have clear thoughts….I never had that even writing this I had to stop a few times.

  15. Diagnosed in the last 3 months (at 33). I described it to my mom as running a gauntlet: I have a thought that I need to follow to the end for it to be useful, so I start running. As soon as I do, the people on the sides (me) start throwing rocks (thoughts) at me trying to knock me off course. I have to run so fast it’s exhausting, and even then I get thrown off to the side at least half the time. So that but x100000000 because how many thoughts are in a day?

    Mundane or non-interactive tasks are SO agitating. Any time I feel bored (which is any time I’m not at least 95% fully mentally engaged) it feels like a vice is being tightened on my brain and I’m just this wound up spring waiting to pop up. It’s physically uncomfortable.

    I can never learn from mistakes. I can’t set goals. I am late every single day and every single day I promise myself that tomorrow will be different. I commit to a goal 300% and by mid afternoon I can’t remember why I even set it. It’s like I can’t hold on to anything mentally.

    When I’m engaged, it’s so wonderful. My brain is so curious and pattern-seeking, it jumps from one thing to another and sees everything all at once. I have this phenomenonal energy and drive and passion, and it’s like the buzzing has stopped and a veil has been lifted and I’m really MYSELF. Those moments are such a relief.

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      Wow, what an engaging description. And wow, what a big thing to get diagnosis.

      Diagnosis can be a different experience for different people, but what was it like for you? Was it positive or negative? Are you trying medication for treatment?

  16. Diagnosis is complicated. In a way it’s such an enormous relief to be told that all these “failings” I’ve been struggling to overcome for 30 years aren’t my fault after all.

    Along with that there’s disbelief – the feeling that I don’t REALLY have ADHD and am just using it as an excuse (even though I completely identify with everything everyone has said here and sleep just fine on moderate doses of stimulants).

    I’m trying medication and some counseling too. The meds are amazing – I feel like they untie your hands from behind your back so that you can at least participate in the fight – but they aren’t a cure all and I think there are a lot of patterns and coping and defense mechanisms to work through. On that note, letting some of that defense is actually really hard, because it makes me realize what intense denial I was holding onto and how debilitating some of the symptoms actually are.

    I think with that there’s a bit of anger. I’m pissed off that no one noticed sooner, that certain things were so hard when maybe they didn’t have to be.

    So yes, complicated but positive 🙂

  17. It’s kinda like watching 100 televisions at once. I didn’t read all this post because my mind won’t allow it. Things will pop into your mind without a moments notice. I had to get off of Facebook because I would worry about everything that was happening to other ppl. Ppl with ADHD have pretty much a super brain.

  18. Half the time when I think, it’s like an avalanche. I can start on one idea, say for instance, “I need to meet up with people at 3 pm.” Then suddenly I have ideas of oh what else is there to do before, and then it turns into did i forgot anything, and then finally i forgot what i was thinking about in the first place.

  19. At age 66 I’m feeling more and more like the gears in my head are stripped and my brain keeps slipping into neutral. Unless hyperfocused on a task, I honestly don’t know what I am thinking or feeling; I’m simply functioning on auto pilot.
    It’s increasingly more frightening and most days I’m certain I’m loosing it and then there will be a day where I’m confident and in control. It’s a horrible way of life and I refuse to go back on medication as that creates a scenario whereby I never sleep; which is another different neutral state of mind.
    My wife is now seeing a therapist in an attempt to hone her skills in loving and living with a person with ADD. My persona has changed and my wife describes me best with the lyrics in the Pink Floyd song — I’ve become comfortably numb. Seems my emotions are subdued and the days of highs and lows have been replaced by the auto pilot zombie.
    I have an amazing life and loving family and this affliction is becoming more debilitating each day. I saw this in my mother and before her death, doctors were treating her for dementia. I now know what it was and fear I am heading to the same place.

    1. It’s strange with our age difference, but I’m 25 and this actually sounds like how things have been for me the past couple of years. I wasn’t diagnosed until 24, and it was mainly when thinking of when I was younger that I’d relate to a lot of the “sped up”/emotionally reactive type symptoms. It took me a bit to realize that they’ve now just been suppressed (by depression/unfitting meds/who knows) and my mind is just a fuzzy mess most of the time so I’m not as acutely aware of it all. I relate so much to some ADHD experiences I hear but then don’t relate to others and end up doubting I have ADHD, but it’s when I hear experiences like yours that I really relate as far as my current experience of (probably)ADHD.

      I know this was posted a while back and you may not see this, but I hope things are improving and wish you the best.

      1. This is exactly how I feel! I’m 27 and I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last month. Your comment is exactly how I feel at the moment. I feel like the depression I’ve been in for several years now has made my mind numb. Have you come across anything that has been helpful for you?

        1. I identify tremendously to this as well. I am 24 and have been searching for anything and everything that can be remotely helpful. The depression and anxiety I have seems to be effecting my mind increasing more over time and I haven’t found anything that’s helpful (even switching different meds, therapy, etc.) so I am interested to know if anyone has found anything that has been helpful to them also.

    2. I was diagnosed with ADHD longer ago than I can remember. Imagine that! The thing that helps me most is adrenaline. I was a firefighter/paramedic for many years. I lived for the natural adrenaline high of doing emergency work. The adrenaline gave me focus. I am retired now and seeing a psychiatrist once a month. I take 30 mg of Ritlan per day. It helps me focus though not as good as when I was with the FD. Every six months or so my psych ups the dosage because of the fade effect of Ritlan. Basically I deal with my ADHD like I would deal with having only one arm; I adapt. I find other ways to accomplish tasks. I try not to take things too seriously. I know that some people may see me as “different” and realize it’s not because of me as a person it’s because me with an annoying disability that I am doing my best to cope with. Can I get an Amen?

    3. I was diagnosed with ADHD longer ago than I can remember. Imagine that! The thing that helps me most is adrenaline. I was a firefighter/paramedic for many years. I lived for the natural adrenaline high of doing emergency work. The adrenaline gave me focus. I am retired now and seeing a psychiatrist once a month. I take 30 mg of Ritlan per day. It helps me focus though not as good as when I was with the FD. Every six months or so my psych ups the dosage because of the fade effect of Ritlan. Basically I deal with my ADHD like I would deal with having only one arm; I adapt. I find other ways to accomplish tasks. I try not to take things too seriously. I know that some people may see me as “different” and realize it’s not because of me as a person it’s because me with an annoying disability that I am doing my best to cope with. Can I get an Amen?

  20. I’m a high achieving student and athlete, between so many obligations and a recently failed relationship I am stressed to the point that trying to focus is physically painful and difficult. I have identified with almost every analogy and explanation on this page, it’s become a source of empathy when I feel like no one else understand the wonderful and terrible intricacies of ADHD.

    However, nobody has really discussed the issues of medication. Medication is the difference between me being a C student or top of my class, but it’s not a miracle pill. The drug comes at the steep cost of my personality. I am normally witty, energetic, social and always smiling. When medicated I focus almost as well as my peers (still below average as stated by other contributors) , but it becomes incredibly difficult to express emotions, engage socially, entertain, or even smile(you can imagine how this makes dating impossible until I take a medication holiday over the summer). Strangely, I am still just as intrinsically happy! I just can’t express it.

    The metaphor I use is this…. imagine standing in a dark room, a light shining down on you (my inner mind). Now you really want to interact with the world: talk, joke, flirt, smile but instead you’re just watching through a one way glass window, desperately wishing someone could see your smile. You can communicate dryly, like tapping out messages in code for those on the other side to hear. But the tapping doesn’t sound energetic like you meant, it’s angry. It’s not calm, it’s serious. It’s not relaxed, it’s sad. Most people misread my tone and emotions when I’m medicated except my closest friends who I cherish because they can decipher “the tapping” with a glance of the eye. As if they can see back through my one way window. They don’t pretend to understand what I’m going through but they earnestly care and try to….

    I kinda went off on a tangent 🙂 suppose that’s typical of me. Anyway, I continue to take the medication because my confidence and pride is tied to my ability to succeed, which in a mundane school environment requires focus. But every day I have to choose: which personality will lead to fulfilment: “chaotic social lovely adhd” or “zombified laser focus efficiency”?

    1. Hey there,

      You may not see this comment because you posted this so long ago but on the off-chance you do, you should try checking out this video on YouTube by Dr. Russell Barkley, who is a leading ADHD researcher. He discusses how different medications for ADHD work and why the effect you described is sometimes noticed with the stimulant medications. He advocates that it is better to be on a low dose of a stimulant and a low dose of a non-stimulant than it is to be on a high dose of a stimulant and no non-stimulant at all. This is because the stimulants are really great at helping you with the “cold cognitions” that are often the focus of medication treatment. However, to have the best impact on those cold cognitions, some people need a high dose of a stimulant to get there. This can sometimes have a dampening effect on your mood, emotions, spirit, etc. Now, it is doesn’t mean you should completely go off of a stimulant medication, it might just mean that the stimulant is too high for you. A compromise would be to lower your stimulant medication dosage so that there is less negative side effect on your mood and try adding a non-stimulant medication (e.g., Strattera/atomoxetine or Intuniv/guanfacine) which is in effect 24 hours per day (rather than just during the day like the stimulant medication) and affects different neurotransmitter systems. This can result in a similar level of improvement for the “cold cognitions” but not eliminate or dampen your “hot cognitions” like your mood and emotions. Check out the video – Dr. Barkley can explain it better than I can! I hope this helps anyone reading this thread.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U

      1. Very helpful, at 64 I have struggled with ADD since grade school in the 60’s. Not a great deal of knowledge base or support at that time. I was a little girl put in the back of class rooms by teachers who labeled me unintelligent, stupid etc. thus a roller coaster of complete self loathing,
        Confusion and over all depressed I could not catch up or communicate with my peers.
        The rest of the story is similar with those who have already shared their stories. Today I still weep with lost opportunities,
        No chance of college or achievements in any other scholastic venues. Which by the way trumps almost every area of life.
        A very very sad freefall existence that is horrific and shaming. I’ve never really talked to anyone about it or taken any medications. Early on my parents did not have a clue and primarily no financial options to research. More or
        less it is a quiet hidden place of desperation.
        I just go through the motions skirting around the difficulties day after day.

  21. Yes, Medication! It’s a gold key when you can’t focus on an exercise plan, or find the time for it (as a 40 hr./wk. employee, all-the-time mom, & wife) -there’s just no time for me). I was diagnosed 10 yrs. into adulthood. A year after my son was diagnosed, I found myself putting the milk away -in the cupboard, & that’s when the lightbulb turned on. When I began my medication (no feelings of extra happiness or ‘zombie’ mode), it felt like: for 10 years, my wrist was chained to my waste/ankles. I could never stand up straight, I could never reach my hand up to grab my goal (which really hit hard because an adolescent I could do whatever I put my mind to). The medication BROKE MY CHAINS! I could stand tall, and excel at work. I get teary-eyed every time I revisit that amazing moment in my life. That’s my analogy about medication. And that’s why I eventually shared my diagnosis, and have been slowly bringing awareness and shutting stigmatism down, one comment at a time. 🙂 One post at a time.

  22. Hi my name is Michael. I’m a 14 year old in 8th grade and i had ADHD/ADD for my entire life.
    Having ADHD is a very difficult thing to explain on what it feels like. Imagine a billion nukes bouncing around in your body and you have to stay still.
    (which is nearly impossible) You have to focus on one thing and everything thing around is so interesting to look at accept that one thing. it’s like someone put a mint in a coke gallon and your the coke gallon about to explode. And don’t even get me started with the day dreaming.
    I zone out so easily it’s scary. And the worst part is while people are talking in my day dream. I talk out loud without even realizing it making people think i’m crazy. Simple 5 minute tasks can take about 30 minutes. Sometimes I’m carrying one specific thing in my hand and I forget it’s in my hand so I look around my house for 5 minutes until realize it was in my hand the whole time. Recently, I was prescribed medication to help me focus, and i have been noticing the effects!
    i can focus better and I’m not easily distracted. But when I’m on it I dont feel like my normal self.
    normally without it I feel super happy and like talking to people. But when i’m on it i feel really mellowed out and people think i’m high on pot on how mellowed out i am. Also, I’m extremely impulsive.
    Ask anyone, I’m not a bad kid, I dont curse off teachers, get in fights, do drugs,
    I just do really stupid things without thinking on what would happen. for ex in 3rd grade i got stuck in a laundry shoot, in 4th grade i got my head suck in a bench, this year I got my shoe stuck on the school roof, in 5th grade I brought a horse mask to school, and many many more.
    But all this all this relates to my ADHD according to the doctor.
    At this point I’m really scared about my condition.
    I fear that i will have it as a adult and not be able to hold a job and my impulsive thoughts and not be able to support myself.
    Hopefully a miracle happens.. -_-

    1. MIchael,
      There’s nothing for you to worry about. As you get older, you’ll how to control yourself better and realize that your mind is brilliant. Once you realize how brilliant your mind is and embrace it, you’ll come to realize that “inner voice”, was right all along; then wonder what took you so long to see something, that has been in front of your face all along<3

  23. What I feel with ADHD is having one think that I can focus on for multiple day or week periods, but only focus on for 5 minute periods. I know it doesn’t make sense, but if you have ADHD, I think you’ll get it. For a solid week, I will be working on a project for a few minutes at a time, regardless of what I should be focusing on. That’s what other people have talked about with being hyperfocused on something. To steal the computer analogy, it’s like only one app working properly for like a week. The other part is only being able to focus on that project or whatever I’m managing to focus on instead for a few minutes without thinking of something unrelated. Back to the computer analogy, it’s like that single app that works for a week crashes every 5 minutes, and in its place, 10 other tabs or apps open, and the app shortcut gets deleted from your desktop.

  24. The way I best exemplify my symptoms are in the use of AM/FM radios. Between large cities that are near one another, multiple radio transmissions (with similar frequencies) are received by radios and publish the scattered information to the people that are tuned in. Sporadic unwanted messages constantly pour in at varying volumes and languages. The scrambled information makes it extremely difficult to focus on only one portion of the broadcast, much less anything else that the person may be doing at the time such as driving in traffic.

  25. The best way to describe what is happening within the thoughts of my mind is to view the brain as a type of machine. This machine (my brain) has multiple constantly revolving chains and working each chain is its own thought or task/reminder. When I’m thinking I often bounce from one of these constantly moving chains (think of them as bike chains while being rode) and when I get back into that thought it’s already moving. Almost like stepping onto a treadmill that is already turned on a brisk walking pace. Sometimes I can easily grab onto each chain or thoughts and go back and forth between different chain thoughts without missing a beat. I can keep track and know exactly where I was in so many different thoughts and go back into it and resume where I left off. Then there are days where I’m having a hard time and focusing isn’t easy. I almost can visualize myself trying to grasp those thought chains while they are rotating, but each time I reach out to grab on the chain slips out of reach. I try my hardest to get into that thought. Sometimes if it fails I will reach for another thought and come short again. Then it’s like each time I reach out they all keep slipping away. And my mind will finally give up and stay blank. Usually I will have a minute of relief that my mind can finally rest. But then a feeling of disappointment and wondering what is wrong with me follows.

  26. I’ve had it my whole life (I’m 29) and the best analogy I can give anyone who doesn’t have to deal with ADD is this:

    Imagine you’re looking one direction, you are 100% interested in what you’re looking at but your eyes start to go to the right because something different is over there. But then you realize what you’re doing and make them look back at the first thing in the middle. Then after a minute or less your eyes start looking to the left, so you remind yourself to look back at the middle. Then, without realizing it, you have done this a hundred times and never noticed that the thing you were looking at in the middle left 10 minutes ago.

    Imagine that happening every day no matter what you are doing and tell me again why you think I didn’t finish the test in class.

    1. That is bang-on lol totally identify with that analogy plus add in a super anxious and self conscious feeling because u know you’re gonna screw it up, AGAIN

  27. I only just got a diagnosis earlier this year (at 33) and I’m still coming to terms with what that entails. On the one hand, it’s good to have an explanation for the scatteredness of my head, but on the other hand, I’m terrified that I’ll never be able to change. I think I’m finding it particularly stressful because I’m preparing for grad school and I know I have a really hard road ahead of me. I feel like I’m forever letting people down because I just can’t work the way they do, and I have a lot of fear that this way of thinking is going to preclude me from the life I want to live.

    I also deal with depression so I have the competing brain activity of lack of motivation and fatigue, while at the same time what feels like five people having a conversation in my head all trying to get my attention. It’s incredibly frustrating because it doesn’t seem to matter how interesting I find something – if it requires extended focus (like reading an article) I just can’t get through it. I’m an incredibly slow reader because I have to focus so hard just to stop my mind from wandering off down another rabbit hole. And this is for things I’m interested in! Which is great when you are brainstorming, but really shitty when you need to knuckle down and actually read for comprehension. A number of times I’m in a lab meeting and I say the words: “I read about xyz… /some vague description of the paper/… but I can’t remember what paper it was, or who wrote it”. I swear, I spend more time trying to go back and find the thing that interested me and was relevant than actually producing anything useful.

    My hyper-focus moments go towards things that I shouldn’t be doing, like reading an entire comment thread on a facebook post when I only wanted to check an event for location details, or completely re-organising the garage because I thought it looked messy when I went to get extra toilet paper. I imagine for non-ADHD procrastinators they are aware they are avoiding something. They have a voice in their head telling them, “you should go work on your paper now, not repaint the guest room”. But my ADHD procrastination isn’t like that. My voice has completely forgotten I was going to write a paper today and is now emphatically encouraging me to do this new thing.

  28. it’ll be kinda hard explaining what it’s like for me because i suffer of adhd & often have a bad time explaining & staying on one topic. school is the hardest. my teacher constantly calls me out on my eyes focusing on something else besides what she’s saying. its very embarrassing for me & ill catch myself doing it over & over again. the only thing that makes focusing easier is if i have constant movement. also ill spend 10 minutes trying to decide what i want to drink at a restaurant haha. don’t think having adhd will get in the way of whatever you’re trying to achieve. everything is just as possible. adhd or not ((:

  29. Does anyone else have extreme lack of focus while driving? Sometimes I am so in my head I feel like I am looking at things through a foggy window and my brain is elsewhere. I am driving safely but on an auto pilot mode while having conversations about random things bouncing from one topic to the next and I almost have to smack myself back into focus at times. Chewing gum while I drive helps me to stay present and not Wonder off but I am wondering if it is something others have experienced.

  30. I’m curious to hear if other people can relate to this: For me, my ADD is most apparent when communicating with other people. It gets to a point where I literally cannot hear people or make meaningful connections, and it is so incredibly frustrating. I am beginning to wonder if it is solely ADD, or if it is accompanied by some kind of separate anxiety disorder. Oftentimes, the symptoms of anxiety and ADD are the same, so it is difficult to know. But this is how it is for me: You know how when you have your ADD under control–whether it’s due to medication, meditation, exercise, or an occasional moment where your brain inexplicably ISN’T racing a thousand miles an hour–you can hear people much more effortlessly? You’re still thinking fast, but you’re able to comfortably speak with people. And then when it’s back… it’s like I’m picking out individual words from someone’s sentence with tweezers, trying to align them together and make sense of what they’re saying. And it doesn’t matter whether this is a total stranger or a close family member. In fact, it’s worse with people I’m close with, because I feel a heightened responsibility to receive everything they’re saying. And any frustration with this completely exacerbates the whole experience. The second I start to realize my thoughts are racing, a ping-pong effect ensues, sort of like this:
    “What did they just say?”
    – “It’s okay, you don’t have to hear every single thing.”
    “You should say something.”
    – “You don’t HAVE to say anything.”
    “So I have nothing to say?”
    – “Of course not, you can if you want, but don’t feel the pressure to entertain anyone. Just listen.”
    “But I can’t listen.”
    – “Just shut up. Think LESS. Stop trying to figure it out.”
    “Maybe I should start taking medication again.”
    – “You’re getting better though! The meditation and counseling has really been helping.”
    “Okay, what did they just say?”
    – “I missed it. Just relax.”
    “I feel so rude. They probably think I’m not listening to them.”
    – “Well, you’re not.”
    etc…

    I feel like if I can be comfortable with the fact that I won’t hear much, I am able to operate socially much better, but as soon as my brain STARTS thinking about thinking, or I have another negative emotion like sadness or frustration from the get-go, the whole thing turns into a downward spiral. Does anyone else have this? Thanks!

    1. This is the bane of being social, i describe it as the moment i wan’t to say something in a convesation my mind fills up with:
      Well is this wording rigth? How will they take it? how many ways can it be misunderstood, oh hehe can they overstood it and what did they stood on in the first place?? Wait i was about to say something, but like now one sec has passed so it’s to late. No it’s not, but now i am just being awkward, no i am not but what was it i was gonna say???
      another person takes the word, but now i remember what i had to say, should i just say it now? or wait?? but will it fit in then? and now i am not even listening anymore.

      And that’s just the first second, (thred (123) stop it brain!(but it is a little fun)) and so it goes with most things…
      Aaaand there are the days where my hands and feet are bound up by thouts i know are shit but in bed i stay…

  31. My son was about 2 years old at the time. I piped up in a crowded room in a panic, “Has anyone seen where Noah went!” EVERYONE in the room started howling with laughter. I was holding him with my one arm the entire time and somehow completely forgot.

    Pretty much sums it up for me.

  32. I’m researching this because I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man, who told me recently that he doesn’t feel like I ever want to have a meaningful conversation. He said I just trail off or change the subject. At first I was defensive and mad, but have since realized that he’s right. No matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to really consume what I’m watching/reading/hearing. And so then I’ve spent that time, but can’t bring away anything meaningful to incorporate into a conversation. I don’t know how long it’s been this way, but I realize that I have the same issue with work. It takes me forever to finish projects because I’m not consuming/processing what I’m reading anymore. It wasn’t always like this…I don’t think.
    I took some of the tests online, and I have so many of the symptoms. I don’t even know what my next step should be?

    1. I’d say your next step is talking to your primary care physician. If their office isn’t equipped to test you, they should be able to point you to somewhere that can. I went directly to a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD, you might look it up and see if there is someone like that in your area! I haven’t tried medication yet (I am bull-headed and want to battle it out on my own), but it might be something you can talk to your doctor about, if you are diagnosed and want to try. I’ve found behavioral therapy extremely helpful (or something like that, I forgot the official name…). A good therapist can help you find a lot more self-awareness and gives you “natural” coping mechanisms that can help you out with anxiety and stuff that the medicine won’t fix. I wish you all the best!!

  33. Your mind is the unbeatable beast, and you’re the tamer.

    No matter how aware of the situation you may be, you can’t control or tame the thoughts that cross your mind, sometimes your own brain is fighting your every will to actually do the stuff that you need to do, other times it feels as if you’ve formed a temporary truce, and become a powerhouse of productivity, but one wrong move could set you back into a full on war.

    I had several other ways to word it that were a lot better than that, but It doesn’t seem I’m capable of putting them to words, because I’m not sure if I can remember them at all.

    1. This is exactly right! And I have to keep moving because I feel like if I don’t then that monster will absolutely destroy me! It’s the same way with impulsivity. I know I shouldn’t do something(i.e text someone 6 times in a row) and I tell myself that I won’t. 10 minutes later, I’ve done exactly what I said I wasnt going to do and wondering why the hell I did it!
      It’s really exhausting, because my minds moving at a 100000000mph and I just can;t keep up. Trying to explain it to anyone is almost worse because it comes out sounding like an excuse or a cop out. At the end of the day I am exhausted! Just worn out.
      I’m 35 and was diagnosed at the beginning of this year and it has been a struggle between all the new knowledge, the medication trials and just life in general. I have a lot of friends that have ADHD and its great but it’s hard to explain and the shame that comes with it makes it hard as well to people that do not have it. I’ve lost relationships to this because when people say they understand at first, it’s great. But then it rears it’s ugly head and there it goes.
      I’m seeing a therapist and currently taking 36mg of Concerta and trying to make sense of it and these comments make me feel like I’m not alone!

  34. To describe ADHD for me, imagine that your mind is a house. Outside the house, there are people to chat with, places to go and things to do. Inside the house is your own personal sanctuary with things to personalize, organize, and chill with. “Normal” people can leave the house, talk to neighbors, and shop for groceries at normal intervals, then return home and enjoy a coffee in the evening. I, on the other hand, frequently find myself locked out of my house or locked in for uncomfortable periods of time.

    I’ll connect this to reality then. On the days I am “locked out,” I am a super extroverted, crazy chatterbox, and find it really hard to slow down. Then, if it starts “raining,” (i.e. I realize that I’ve gone too far and embarrassed myself), I can’t just stop and retreat. I desperately desire the safety of my sanctuary, but I am locked out. I’ve just started warning people and saying “hey, I really don’t know if I’m going too far sometimes. If I’m making a monkey of myself, I give you complete permission to stop me. No social shenanigans needed here, just let me know!” Giving people permission to acknowledge that I’m different helps to set everyone at ease and makes it a lot less awkward!

    Other days, it’s like the door is jammed in my mind-house. I can see the neighbors chatting outside, see them going about their day and being productive, but I can’t join them. In real life, on the days I am “locked in,” I am super spacey (or hyper-focused) and overwhelmed with the pressure of everyday activities to the point where I don’t even want to leave my room. I really need to get things done, but I am locked in. On days like these, I can’t ask for help. All I can do is hope that the people around me are merciful enough to give a girl a break.

    This complicates the way I have to approach things like daily chores, friendships, appointments, and personal time, but it has also made me more empathetic to the struggles of people around me, and more merciful when people have an “off day.” Like, I feel you bro, maybe more than you think.

  35. Imagine you’re in your apartment. There’s unopened mail on the table, you have no idea what to make for dinner, a light bulb went out, and you haven’t returned your friend’s text message. Also, the apartment is on fire. You change the light bulb.

    1. OH MY GOODNESS!! Yes, this is a great explanation and no I can not explain why I changed the light bulb instead of putting out the fire. No wonder people think I am crazy from the outside looking in.

  36. i feel with my adhd that im stuck in sinking sand- i will have one , maybe two things that i want to get done such as painting or writing on what im going threw and i just cant seem to do it…im constantly getting thrown off by s stupid crump on the floor or ill see something that i want to get done cuz it bothers me wich distracts me from what i was going to do-Paint! and the i remember other things so i need to write them down just so i dont forget about them….and the fact that no one in my life can understand just why its so hard to say “hell with all that crap and just sit and paint” and yet i cant either….really sucks-they get to get away from me- i dont….if i walk to store-brain is right there, even if im trying to sleep-hours of my brain just goin on and on,,,,alot of time i wish i never would of tried medication for adhd-yes it brought me in the moment and helped me concentrate but just didnt work with my body…..lost effects in 6 weeks-vyvanse, then strattera-anxiety and depression and hives all over face, then adderall xr and ir- totally worst headahces, cant go out in heat longer than 20 min at a time and i got a toddler so good luck with that- and now im on ritalin-after asking for focalin….i have tbi pdst as well as adhd-who knows maybe throw sum depression in their too….just tired of the side effeects from meds and the chaos it caused with my family

  37. Yes Ray! This is so spot on! I feel like there is always a list of things to do and prioritizing things in a way that makes sense to me but to others it seems very backwards. I get physical urges (like little twitches) to go do different things that along with the thoughts, but usually I just think through them all until committing to the decision which isn’t always easy to make.

  38. This article is excellent. I found this when I Googled a search for ADHD metaphors, with which I plan to use to help explain my ADHD brain to my family. … One that I am considering originates from Jurassic Park, when Dennis Nedry goes on his rant about how debugging the tour program while their VIP guests are out in the park is a bad idea because “it will eat a lot of compute cycles,” causing the system to “compile for half an hour.” … Similar to Pat’s open tabs analogy, it feels like the ADHD brain is like a computer that is always busy running a lot of background tasks which eat up a lot of compute cycles. Each brain (whether ADHD or not) has only so much processing power. The problem for the ADHD brain is that it is always diverting a large portion of its processing power to millions of thoughts firing behind the scenes, in the unconscious mind.

  39. Hey! I’m not sure if you have already, but you should talk to your doctor about possibly trying a different medication. Because when I read this, it reminded me of when I took Ritalin-the first medication I tried. I was myself but without my personality basically. I ended up just stopping the medication because I missed laughing and being who I really was. It wasn’t until recently that I began taking Adderall because I was tired of constantly being judged at work by my coworkers. Since I was so sporadic and would literally stop mid sentence and forget what I was JUST talking about, the rumors just flew that I was on drugs (crack, coke, meth), and I have no backbone so I internalized everything and just had a breakdown. It took some adjusting at first with the dose and type but I take instant release 20mg twice a day and it’s amazing. Like all of the medication for ADHD, it doesn’t make all my ADHD tendencies go away, but it helps me focus better and best of all, I can carry a whole conversation with someone…and I used to be bad about just blurting out random things (like thinking out loud) and that’s rare now. Just a thought!

  40. Honey I’m 30 and my ADHD is so severe without medication and moderately controlled with. However, I’ve worked at my job both without and with medication. Don’t let that worry you, you’ll be just fine! Just find something you’re compassionate about and holding down that job won’t be hard. For me, managing my ADHD is hard sometimes, but I’ve been working as a CNA in a nursing home for almost 13 years. I hope this helps you even if it’s just a little!

  41. I got diagnosed when I was 25.

    I went to the psychologist because of depression, but she suddenly asked ‘why haven’t you been tested for ADHD’?
    And I told her that because I never had any issues when I was younger, the option ‘ADHD’ had always been swept off the table. Turns out, my parents raised me and my sisters with so much order and discipline, that I never experienced any real difficulties until I started university. I was just considered to be ‘a bit wild and forgetful’.

    Anyway, when I got the diagnosis, I was so happy.
    Finally, I could explain to my parents and sisters that my brain works in a different way.
    And me being ‘all over the place’ has nothing to do with being lazy, or irresponsible, or not trying hard enough.

    I explained it like this:
    You’re all labradors, and you keep telling me: “Just jump into the water, quickly swim across, and get the ball”.
    But… I’m a dachshund.

  42. ADHD is like a scene in The Andromeda Strain (1971). At a certain point in the film the computer becomes overloaded and displays the error code 601 (because there is too much information coming in too quickly). Getting a ‘601’ moment reduces my functional ability from its normal zombie like state to that of a snail.
    A simpler way of illustrating what ADHD is like is to watch the Monty Python sketch ‘Spam’.

    My hyperfocus is a slave-like devotion to a task or activity that could easily be left to another day such as tidying the garage or reorganizing the storage boxes under my bed. I don’t need to do these things, but once I’ve started virtually nothing will stop me from doing them.
    An example of being in hyperfocus mode was when I was painting a shed panel prior to assembly, and a nearby breeze-block fell onto my foot (I’d nudged it without looking). I knew instantly that I’d broken my big toe, but I was so engrossed in what I was painting that it was another half an hour before I stopped. And by then it was a struggle to get my shoe off due to the pain and swelling.

    BTW, it has taken me over an hour to write this. Just like Debbie (JUNE 6, 2017 AT 1:38 AM) says, I went “wandering off down another rabbit hole”.

  43. @Rachele Thank you. It feels good to know im not alone with experiencing that side-effect. I’ve read about a phenomenon called “rebounding” and also agree that I’m probably om the wrong medicine or dosage. My only issue is it can be so difficult to play with different medications and treatments during a time in my life where maintaining test scores and grades determines my future. The one thing I’ve learned that helps is keeping a log and writing down all my thoughts.

  44. To me, having ADHD is like trying to kick a coked-out puppy, not knowing that it will explode and summon a bunch of clones of itself upon impact.

    Normal people just pet the puppy. But no, not people with ADHD. We get angry and frustrated because WHY IS THE PUPPY BARKING? So we deal with whatever is frustrating us (even if it makes ZERO sense that it would be annoying at all…admittedly) in a way that, while effective for us, may not be best for those around us (or even ourselves). We worry so much about mundane, normal stuff that we just lose it and freak out about everything at once, often by making bad decisions. Those decisions usually backfire on us, and it just always seems to get worse and worse.

    Medication helps us just ignore the puppy for a while. It’s still annoying, but at least we understand that it’s just being a normal puppy. Not a soul-devouring demon.

    I know this didn’t make any sense…but it does to me. And that’s another really annoying aspect of ADHD…

  45. Pingback: Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder – Mind Storming

  46. I don’t really read things like this all that much but hearing other peoples stories really got me thinking about what it feels like for me. It usually feels like an angel and a demon are constantly fighting over my thoughts of whats right and whats wrong to think about. The demon wins most of the time in my decision making.

  47. For me, having ADHD is like everything around you is fighting for your attention. Every movement every passing conversation every leaf on a tree, your mind is trying to pick something to focus on and it can’t decide for the life of you on what it should pick. Your mind has to take note of every single little thing before you can go onto the next task. When it does finally pick something wether it be staring at every fiber on a fuzzy carpet or your homework it does so in a intensity to where the fuzzy carpet looks like its vibrating. Your mind is so focused you practically jumped out of your skin when you feel your dog lick your face for attention. In school and you are taking your mid term its especially hard. You take notice of all the movement around you in the large auditorium each new whisper that echoes around, the slightest movement of the person across the room from you. The best way that helps me when I’m taking a test is to put my headphones in and play a song I have heard a 100 times before so my mind can stop audibly wandering for new stuff while my visual part can focus on the mid term itself. I just need to make sure I don’t look around or ill have the same issue again.

  48. I think of my mind like a fidget spinner at its full speed all the time – where you can’t see the blades when it’s spinning at high speed. You do know that you are not connected, you can easily get agitated with things.. etc etc.. I do not feel racing thoughts, (probably racing thoughts occur in a mania situation) even though the thoughts might be there, you do not see them racing… I can assume if my mind is not a fidget spinner, then probably I am somewhat centered on myself, my body, surroundings, situations, some goal, relaxed in the present moment.

  49. Here’s my experience with ADHD :

    I spent nearly 4 hours reading only 1/5 of your article. While reading, I searched about supermassive blackholes (because i’m fascinated about astronomy that and my brain wanted to..), then I searched about LIGO and gravitational waves (because wikipedia lead me to..), then I searched about Nolan latest movie “Dunkirk” (between Kip Thorne is on wiki page and he worked with Nolan), then I searched about Weinstein because I read a beef between Rose and Meryl because it attracted my eyes on side “ad” articles and finally after reading all of this. I am here to write this comment after finishing the reading of your article.

    This is my everyday life 🙁

  50. Here’s my experience with ADHD :

    I spent nearly 4 hours reading only 1/5 of your article. While reading, I searched about supermassive blackholes (because i’m fascinated about astronomy that and my brain wanted to..), then I searched about LIGO and gravitational waves (because wikipedia lead me to..), then I searched about Nolan latest movie “Dunkirk” (between Kip Thorne is on wiki page and he worked with Nolan), then I searched about Weinstein because I read a beef between Rose and Meryl because it attracted my eyes on side “ad” articles and finally after reading all of this. I am here to write this comment after finishing the reading of your article.

    This is my everyday life 🙁

  51. It’s like trying to get off A merry go round before it stops and wanting to get back on and whenever you get that one horse moving out of the way the next one’s already back and see you don’t know when to go when to stop but you never get on or off the ride. A always missing your chance being late for that chance or not paying attention when the chance was present

  52. Shame. I am nearly crippled from a lifetime of shame. Growing up undiagnosed, as a female, I “should’ve known better, why can’t you just sit still, I’m tired of telling you to be quiet, stop fidgeting, keep your hands to yourself- sit by me- away from everyone else, no recess for you (only girl-humiliating), that makes 3 checkmarks-calling your mom, if it was in on time it would’ve been am A, if you were an honor student you wouldn’t be in the principals office- detention (a school day in a designated whiteroom with only bathroom breaks separate from the regular breaks & door open for shaming from other students. And if you don’t sit still etc, you bought yourself more shame, if you change your clothes one more time I’m gonna beat your ass (sensory processing disorder), why do you have to be so difficult, all the other kids can get their homework in on time-why can’t you, to many tardies and on campus suspension -you’re suspended, (mind you this is hereditary, when our parents didn’t have the knowledge, so the blind is leading the blind), work starts at 8 not 8:07, not 8:15 & certainly 8:28 as your timecard clearly reads. You’re desk is a mess, paperwork is late, your co-workers complain, You’re fired (13 yr & 7 yr careers that you loved), (so called “loved ones”) you’d be late to your own wedding/funeral HA HA HA. Hey everybody I told her two hours early! HA HA HA HA . I swear- you’re never get your bills paid on time – scoff belittle giggle, I swear, I feel like you’re a 25 yr of child and I’m you’re mom. What would your do if I didn’t…, it’s so easy- just put them in the same place how hard is that, get your shit together. Think before you speak…before you act…(the whole idea of controlling impulse is an oxymoron). Now add the inadequacies of motherhood responsibilities, and a job, don’t forget that your very own hyper child that exhausts you is also cursed, all equaling constant failures and reminders when your friends are basically Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, and queen of Pinterest, and you’re like (literally) thanksgiving is Thursday?!!!! (It’s Tuesday) you are hopeless. Then one day (age 32!) You are diagnosed! Yay an answer *bittersweet tears- simply because you finally broke down because couldn’t stand your own hyper child, just like you’re old friends that don’t come around because you’re a hot mess. You’re just like your mother (every bad scenerio). You can’t watch the movie with us in the family room cuz you don’t shut up (family shaming & outcasting) Your conversations all start with an apology. (crap- I’m rambling. I’m gonna need to start chapters here. Am I even gonna finish THIS project? Probably not. Because I’ve learned I’m hopeless.) But now what do you do with it? You have an overnight cure? No
    You have years of bad habits and behaviors to fix with tools you aren’t really given with time you don’t have (probably spent looking for the iPad to learn), all the while “It’s STILL not an excuse” “Now you know, so what’s the problem? fix it.” “*eyeroll let me guess, it’s the adhd? You get the idea. Now remember that with this often comes with/or a result of, sensory processing disorder, ocd, mood disorders ie; bipolar, anxiety, poor self esteem (I wonder why), abusive relationships, addictions, depression, suicide and more.
    All of these symptoms look like you’re just a disrespectful uncaring selfish irresponsible intolerable dick, when in fact 110% effort can still result in discipline and no one believes you due to your history. It’s shame. It’s ridicule. Humiliation.
    I suppose the silver lining is my deep empathy and compassion for others.
    “Why this Why that, why, .why why.?
    I know it looks like I’m just an ahole. I’m not. I’m far from it. I’m determined, I’m loyal and hard working, kind, creative, a team player, isolated- singled out, ‘m sensitive, I’m secretly critically depressed. I am 47. I am stuck, hopeless. Debilitated by a stupid (like me) invisible diagnosis. A sever case of “invisible intolerant hopelessness.” It’s not like diabetes or alcoholism. They can’t help it. Apparently if I tried I could. Now, in therapy, I’m questioned, “how do I define myself?” If not for these behaviors who am I ? Shame is all I know. I’m constantly reminded and shamed.
    I’m sorry, what was I talking about?
    I gots wrap this up. Ooh look, Squir….
    P.S. I DON’T HAVE TIME OR PATIENCE TO CORRECT MY WORK! 😉

    1. Yep…. But.. even better is that you’ve described my daughter, perhaps to a T. Love it.. do NOT be ashamed for this.. own it! I remind people all the time, how much they love me and their lives would be boring without me.. if you are down on yourself for your “shortcomings” they may be too.. your world could be quite humorous if you let it.. let it sister!! Just let it roll

  53. Caleb, I have used that analogy all week!
    A constant battle. Every thought is argued, challenged, and second guessed. It’s draining. I can hardly grocery shop from decision making anxiety. My husband had to come help..ok, do it. 🙁

  54. I get sensory overload as a side dish. So I often feel like I’m on Willy Wonkas boat in the chocolate tunnel. The spinning and spiraling. His cries, his laugh. The anxiety. Also like a fun house, with all the mirrors, and clowns laughing, zooming in and out in your face things coming at you as you try to navigate to attempt to find peace (sleep). I just want to hide. #fetalposition

  55. This is a great article! I definitely commiserate with these testimonies, and have struggled with all of it a little – the understeering, the balloons, the low RAM for sure (especially with verbal lists), even the tab freezing.
    One that especially tugged my heartstrings was Spencer Reed’s explanation that he can think of several stories with only tiny relevance to the topic at hand. I’m still struggling with it. It’s giving me much guilt to feel so dumb in conversations, especially when everyone looks down on you.

    Personally, I don’t necessarily agree that I must only live with this. I’ve put much time and energy into something called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which includes dual aspects of accepting what you can’t change and changing what is unacceptable. It makes for understanding that your brain may be this way and also developing techniques and tools tailored to you. Some examples: having a set “home” for everything cut down hours of searching for all my lost belongings. Learning my thoughts were like ants on a picnic blanket helped me not have to pick up each thought, examine it, and lose 10, 20, 30 minutes doing nothing productive. I even got more in touch with what kind of schedule allows me to have such preparation so I’m not always late to everything and can set alarms as needed.
    It’s less extensive than you think (reduce workload/distraction/overhead space) and more intensive than it seems at first (increased focus, but also -spective clarity.) I know it takes a lot of work, but it feels so relieving and satisfying to accomplish the tasks without ticking off ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE who relies on you.
    I’m still working on it and struggling with the last portion: Interpersonal Relations, often for the same reason Spencer Reed mentions earlier. I just can’t seem to get the hang of what “normal conversation” is supposed to be, how it should flow, and when I’m supposed to stop talking (or, moreover, when I shouldn’t say anything at all, even if it’s harmless or amusing.)
    Disclaimer: this is my personal experience with therapy and I’m not trying to imply that this issue is a hoax – I’m actually trying to say there can be hope.

    I have no better analogy for you than the ones you’ve picked. It would be nice to see what comes by way of support for adults struggling with this.

  56. It’s like watching 5 different hockey games simultaneously happening on the same rink and trying to only follow one game (that is keep track of one puck). Sure, I can do it, it’s just mentally exhausting beyond belief and usually doesn’t end up happening.

  57. I stumbled upon this and it’s been fascinating to read through everyone’s responses. I finally feel like I found people who know what it’s like. I was diagnosed in my late 20s (I’m now in my early 40s), and this is really the first time I feel like there are other people out there who get it. Thank you for this.

    For me, what ADHD feels like depends on the day and the zone I’m in.

    Some days, it’s like I’m standing in the middle of a traffic circle wondering which way to go because all roads look equal to me. Other days, I feel like I’m in a crowded marketplace, with people shouting all around for my attention and not knowing where to turn first. Other days, it’s like I’m caught in this fight that’s going on inside me.

    Sometimes I can’t sit still for 5 minutes.

    And then sometimes, when I’m in hyperfocus, it’s like I’m all alone and the world disappears, and time stops and I just lose track of everything. I can sit down to write or get immersed in a project and I look up and wonder “when did it get dark?” And I haven’t moved for HOURS.

    Over the years, I’ve done a lot of personal work on brain conditioning and habits, and learned to create a structure for myself through consistent daily practices, which I call rituals. Including morning fitness first thing, then meditation, rules about no email/computer/phone calls before noon. That really helps me create space to get focused work done. Sometimes I’m more focused and sometimes less, but having that space helps me feel less reactive to emails/calls/pings, and it’s helped me manage my emotions better.

    And yet sometimes I will fall into an intense rage where I want to throw things across the room (sometimes I do).

    In a way I feel like living with ADHD is like living inside a slot machine. You never know what numbers will come up when you pull the lever. It could be a day where everything aligns or a day where they all come up different. It’s like there’s a consistent feeling of anxiety deep in my subconscious that if it’s a good day, it won’t last, or duplicate. And if it’s a bad day, it could get worse. I never know when the positive mood will fall out.

    It’s typically the littlest things that set me off: mail, email, frustration getting a newsletter out, or figuring out how to do something that seems so easy for everyone else.

    Even with my systems and structures in place to keep consistency in my schedule and routine (I’m hyper-organized, so I tend not to lose keys or glasses anymore), it’s more the emotional side that can be unpredictable.

    And that wreaks havoc on relationships and leaves me feeling lonely.

  58. Before medication it was like someone was holding my shoulders as I stood in the edge of a cliff. I’d be trying to go about my day the whole time being in a state of shakey intensity. Feeling I could fall off the cliff at any moment but not able to think about that feeling and why I was feeling it. I couldn’t focus on this tense energy just rely on everything happening around me to be vines that would each take a turn keeping me from falling. When I couldn’t hold on because there were so many vines I lost focus, my brain would turn into a centrifuge. Spinning so fast all I felt was my brain matter being pulled like magnets to the outside of this spinning wheel with nothing able to connect in the centre.
    When it got like that, I would just fall backwards off the cliff and my brain would feel as it does before blacking out. It would just go numb.
    Since medication. I can step away from the cliff and walk to safety. I can choose to not let anything hold me there because I can choose! I can stand safely in the field. Looking at what is coming towards me with curiosity and interest knowing that it couldn’t pull me away from my own thoughts and decisions.. no vines necessary because I could feel the strength in my feet holding me steady. And trust it.
    I do once in a while feel the centrifugal force but when it comes, I am able to use my steady feet to walk to something that will make it stop.
    I can learn. I can remember. I can think; about actions to come and whether to proceed; of other people’s behaviour and determine whether it is acceptable or not.

  59. I’m 23 with adhd, and after reading through all the published comments about the people’s experiences with adhd, about 70% I could say I related to. I can’t say, however, that I related to them all at once, but in stages.
    In elementary I would say my relation was more familiar with the different levels of attentions. I could easily remember radio/tv jingles, song lyrics, even what my friends and I played on the playground; when it came to more important things like tests, or public events (like spelling bees or speech meets) my mind would slowly go blank, as if shaking and etch-a-sketch.
    In high school, and currently in my adult life, it’s much like the commentor who was constantly looking for something, keys, homework, glasses, wallet, headphones, etc. (the list goes on). And I feel like I can boil myself down to extremely simplify my experience to a simple childhood game, which I was never any good at, the card machine game memory.
    For me, it feels like my life is playing the game memory, flipping the cards trying to match them, only some of the card’s matches were misplaced.
    I would agree in saying that it is synonymous with my personality because I’ve learned to deal with it. I’ve never been prescribed medication (in fear of my mother’s experiences with her add medication), but I have taken medications in a few instances to see if I missed something growing up. To my surprise I wasn’t missing much. I had felt like I was sitting in my brain watching my life on auto pilot. I felt like a lifeless robot or a shell of myself. I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but this has been my experience so far.

  60. ADHD for me (and this proabably has to do with my depersonalizaion) but to me it feels like My body is this giant robot im driving that has an A.I assist. Unfortunatley i cant really operate the robot on my own. I mean i can but its much harder without the A.I assist. Like having the power steering cut off in a car. That wouldnt be so bad if that was the only problem. Unfortunatley the A.I is a bit of an ass to work with and sometimes its activley working against you.. those are the bad ADHD days lol.
    When the A.I is actually interested in what you’re doing its great the two of you work wonders together. It provides useful solutions and you work together so well its effortless you look up and hours have passed and youve done great things. But that rarely happens. Most days you’re trying to get thintgs done and the A.I is not really interested. It will be constantly giving you pop-ups and “helpful” Suggestions… about completely different task or things than whatever you’re trying to do.
    You wanna study? to bad the A.I wants to play a game and the whole time you’re studying its off in the background doing everything but helping you retain the information. All the while its continously mentioning the game and trying to talk you into taking “a little break” You try to power through it without the A.I but its SOOOOOO HARD!! without the A.I assist working in tandem with you. You have to re read things more.. But you keep trying to power through it. Unfortnatley without the A.I your sense of time is off it controls that so this study session which has become frustrating is also now taking fooooorrrrever an agonizing amount of time. It feels like minutes have passed but its only been seconds. And the whole time the A.I is trying to convince you to give up and go do somehting more stimulating… So you do.. Its just easier to do what the A.I wants. Like i said when you work together every thing is better and easier.

    Sorry if this analogy doesnt make sense. Its hard to flesh it out without making a WALL of text and I made one anyway. The A.I loves thinking about its self so i could write about this for a while lol!

  61. You know that scene from the first Harry Potter film where he’s trying to snatch one of the flying letters out of the air, but keeps missing? Pretty sure that’s what the inside of my brain looks like.

  62. Thanks for this comprehensive look into ADHD! I really like that analogy at the beginning, it really put things into perspective for me of what it is like for my friend. I’ll ask him if there is anything I can do to help.

  63. To me it’s like an adult (non-ADHD) taking a little kid (ADHD) on a hike.
    While the adult will walk on the path for 2 miles, the kid will veer off to the left to look at this, to the right to touch that, back to see something they just passed.
    At the end of the walk they both have traveled the same distance (from point A to point B), but the kid has spent considerably more energy and effort.
    That’s what my life feels like, I still get there but I’m exhausted.
    But like the kid, I have way more fun along the way, while the “adults” around me may get tired from calling me back on track.
    I guess that’s one of the advantages of having my own business and hiring adult supervision. I also delegate anything that is beneath me (… ok, requires too much sustained concentration, regularity, or is boring).
    I would highly advise that if you have ADHD to create your own business, but only if the business will support a few people to do the “work stuff” leaving you to do the creative things that our minds are built for.
    I find medication helps take me to a tolerable concentration level.
    I’m also amused at how much of my writing involves parentheses (I also speak that way).

  64. Hello. I hope someone replies to me because I’m feeling lost. I’m diagnosed with ADHD. I’m 23. Here’s how my life has been.

    I’m constantly overthinking. Overthinking in a way it’s not overthinking. To the point people tell me my ideas are out of the world. Or they give me weird looks.

    My life feels like so many things is happening at once. And things overwhelm me to the point I don’t understand.

    I’m an ambivert. I can get along with a group of people just fine. Put me in a party I feel like there’s way too many things going on.

    And I feel horrible that I don’t enjoy it the way people do.

    ADHD feels like everything is happening all at once and all of a sudden you forget everything because it happens way too fast.

    If I don’t write my idea down. It flies away.

    I forget birthdays and I’m labeled rude for it.

    I constantly forget things to the point id fight with my parents about the term being responsible. And I can’t act a certain way anymore.

    What certain way? What am I doing so wrong?

    Why can’t they believe I’m capable?

    ADHD feels like you’re screaming for someone to understand you but no matter how much you talk (word vomit) they don’t understand.

    Or they tell you to slow down.

    I’ve been called a flake. Narcissistic and more. But I don’t identify to those.

    ADHD is trying to figure out why the fuck did you just turn off the lights when you need them to stay on. Like you forgot you turned them on in the first place.

    Or how many times you go back to your house because you forgot something.

    I hate bags.

    Bags is a black hole of me losing things.

    I also hate the fact I don’t remember locking my car so I keep going back out of the store just to check if my car is closed.

    ADHD feels like I’m alone. And the world keeps turning and I’m trying hard to catch up. That I’m alone bc I’m in my own world since I was born.

    Idk if I made sense. Because I’m still trying to understand myself too 🙁 pls pls reply. I need someone to reply.

    1. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. You aren’t alone. I constantly wonder if there is anyone out there that could understand me and to be honest, I don’t think I even understand myself. Don’t be so hard on yourself though. Feel free to email me anytime 🙂

  65. For me, ADHD is like on a Saturday of all day cleaning. I went from starting load of laundry, to making bkfst, to sweeping but not picking up pile, to putting up dishes in washer to try to clean dishes in sink but not get to wash dishes, to put load in dryer to sorting but never putting away clothes, to being EXHAUSTED from cleaning but never finished tasks of cleaning….Does that make sense?

  66. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade and school has always been a struggle. It’s not like I don’t enjoy it, I just enjoy other things more or forget about my school stuff. Homework is really hard. I always am forgetting about some of it or thinking I finished it or saying I’ll do the rest tomorrow. It is like you can either do option A or option B, but B is more fun than A, but A is more important than B. You know you should do A but B is just so enticing. You try to start on A but give up because you cannot focus and just do B. That is probably super confusing to whoever is reading this, oh that is also how it is. I think something makes perfect sense but when I say it out loud no one understands. There are my 2 cents. Thanks, I guess.

  67. For me, ADHD is like watching the world through a cloudy window. I cannot pass through the window. I cannot open the window. All the sights, sounds and experiences exist beyond me, in another place, a world I can not enter. There a brief moments of clarity. Gifts from another dimension perhaps…but inside,
    my thoughts fizzle and pop. While a hurricane forms outside my cloudy window. Stranded in curiosity, unable to define a single concept.
    ADHD is a satellite in deep space. Static.
    ADHD is tasting sound and hearing color.
    It is an unwritten novel about my mother.
    It is rage and helplessness and shame.
    It is every incomplete task and the unrealized dreams that haunt my sleep.
    It is an algebra test taken while loud jazz music plays in a crowded restaurant.
    It is time that has passed and the realization of missing that time because I couldn’t clean my cloudy window.

  68. Reading the above made me feel so not alone! I am a combo of many listed, but mainly the tabs. God-forbid – the tabs….
    I start each day with opening a new tab for each thing I think I need to do and by the end of the day I have about 20+ tabs open. I quickly have to work my way backwards to finish the “starts” and if I don’t get to them, Lord help the person who resets the computer and closes my tabs…
    I have ADD, minus the H, so everything is impossible and unbearable without medication. I went through school never knowing and I was told I survived as an all A student because of my photographic memory. It’s actually been proven! Yet still, no one fully understands what we go through…

  69. So as if ADD wasnt enough, I am also a middle child. I have an older sister (the perfect child) and a younger brother (being a boy was enough). Most anyone with an older sibling has been the subject of the game 52 Pick Up. 52 Pick Up is when you really want to hang with your older sib, and they endulge you by allowing you in on their game of 52 Pick Up – a “game” where they toss a deck of cards into the air and then tell you to “pick up the cards.” Having ADD is not just a game of 52 Pick Up – it’s picking up the cards whilst walking on all the marbles your little brother just threw on top of them.

  70. To me its like when you read to yourself in your head but there is already someone reading and they starting reading louder as you read louder and another person starts reading even louder than you and the other one. It is just getting bombarded with information.

  71. I was just officially diagnosed today. I started by telling my primary care doctor that I thought I might be ADHD after my son (7) was diagnosed, and I noticed that my symptoms (irritability, impulsivity, procrastination, overwhelming emotions, sensory perception, leaving tasks, bored easily, fidgeting, hyperdocus, etc) were very similar to his symptoms as explained to me by the specialist that diagnosed him. I’d always carried around an anxiety diagnosis…. since adolescence. And been treated with SSRI medications on and off for years. I’d been incredibly good at adapting to new situations and I’m a real people person and pretty smart and catch on quickly, so I’ve always been able to compensate for what I now realize is and always has been ADHD. I’m 30. I’m a veteran’s wife, mom to two, and a busy professional in the Maternal Child Health field. And I can’t remember to buy bread, or pay bills. I can bring calm to a screaming infant and a crying mother, and help them problem solve…. it’s like a super power…. but making phone calls or sitting in meetings (especially dysfunctional ones) makes me so irritable. I just “can’t even”. I am 30 years old. I fall out of rolling office chairs at least 3x per week because I perch on the edge of the seat and the chair gets unbalanced. If I miss my morning workout off get off on my eating habits, watch out. I just might a) rip your face off or b)try to become your best friend if you see me in passing at the HEB. I’ve been trying to get a comprehensive diagnosis for 6 months now. I finally got one today, and I’m both so relieved and validated AND I’m pissed that it took so long and so many dead ends and I’m kind of just …… overwhelmed. Life is overwhelming. That’s what it’s like to have an ADHD brain. This is coming from a newbie to the group…. literally just officially diagnosed today…. but that’s what it feels like. Like, imagine if you were in one of those Chuck E. Cheese ticket blaster things, but all of those tickets are your thoughts, and the big super-awesome best ticket is the most important thought, and it changes several times a minute. Oh. And, you have to grab all the tickets (thoughts) and pin them down, but when the blaster stops blowing the tickets around, you’re out of luck. No more grabbing. The ones that you grabbed are all you get. And you have no push pins for the Bulliten Board you need to put the tickets on. And like you’re trying to do this task all day every day and Not let anyone in on your secret that that is what your mind feels like. You just have to keep pretending. Until you crack. That’s what ADHD feels like to me.

  72. I am 18 and was diagnosed at 14, but could not find a medication for my ADD that was right for me until sophomore year. All of my previous prescriptions made me not eat and not want to socialize with anyone. When I am not on Adderal, I’ll find myself reading a sentence over and over. It can be the most simple sentence you can think of and I still will not be able to process it. I will find myself having a conversation with someone and I will be nodding and agreeing, and by the end of the conversation I will realize I have no idea what I was just talking about. I have friends and family constantly telling me I said something when I know for a fact that I did not say it, but it happens often enough that I know it is because of my constant dissociation. I will be sitting in a classroom and if I lose my focus, I am losing that focus for the rest of class. The sound of the kids walking in the hallways will enhance so much and even if it is just two kids passing by, it will sound like hundreds. If someone is clicking their pen over and over sitting next to me, that has my complete attention until they are done.

  73. I’m 30 years old and was diagnosed last year. I tell people that ask it’s like living within a prism. Life hits your prism and every response (physical, emotional etc) you could conceive is a line of light that hits off of it and is refracted in a hundred different ways. You can’t help but try and follow all of them.

  74. Motion. Constant, unforgiving motion. My brain and body at any given time can only agree to keep going fast and hard. I feel like an animal in some kind of derby, a force on my back whipping violently demanding me to go as fast as possible without care of consequence or others. Driving dangerously, unable to relax with friends and unable to stay at my office desk for more than 30 min at a time. I lose friends because I cannot ‘chill’ and because my impulses win at the most inconvenient times. I want to be good and calm and normal. I want to be normal. I want so badly to be normal and to focus and to understand what it means to be still. I have had fleeting moments and a few days where my brain is on track but only about 3 or 4 of them over a period of years. I agree with those who say that anyone who says they understand and does not actually have ADHD cannot comprehend the true hell of it. The hours lost in trying to sleep, the friends that think you area thoroughly self-invested person. For all the world, I want to be normal. I want to know what I could have accomplished and that I could feel safe with the demands of my brain. I do not feel safe or understood.

    I appreciate the contributions here. I spent a few minutes crying after being able to see that there are people who do understand.

  75. I 100% relate to the computer analogy. For me its like when something is taking a minute to load and you start pressing more buttons, and all of a sudden they all register at once and everything freezes up and shuts down. I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis by the “simple” things going on around me. I can’t seem to separate them and do them one by one, it’s difficult to find a place to start when there are so many.

    What it’s been like:

    I was diagnosed when I was 20 or 21, but at the time I felt they were wrong and never went back to begin any kind of treatment. It wasn’t until I had 3 kids and the daily things that needed done, that most people can achieve easily, were nearly impossible for me and that I needed some help. At the time of diagnosis I didn’t really know what ADHD actually was. It wasn’t until I sat down and really read about it that I realized they were probably right.

    It’s frustrating knowing that there are things that need done not just for me, but for my family – and I wanted to do them – but I couldn’t figure out how to go about doing it without getting so frustrated that I avoided it. These things affect every aspect of my life. My work, my kids, my relationships with people. Its frustrating to work so hard at being ready to go and arriving somewhere on time. My time management skills are terrible, and me making a guess at how long something will take is either way off or it was close but I lingered on something or got distracted and then am late anyways. There are days where I have tried to plan everything to a T and am CERTAIN I couldn’t possibly be late. And then it happens. I forgot to do this, I misplaced my keys, I didn’t even turn my alarm on, I forgot my clothes in the washer; it’s endless the things I run into each morning. A lot of the time I fall behind while doing my make up because I don’t realize I’ve taken so long because it doesn’t “seem” like a 15 or 20 minute task. I pretty much started telling myself I needed to be somewhere 30 minutes before what I actually did. That extra 30 minutes is never remaining – so when whatever happens happens – I’m still on time instead of 30 minutes late.

    The hardest part not knowing before was at times I questioned if there was something else wrong with me, like “am I stupid”, which is a crazy question to have to ask yourself when you were put in gifted classes growing up. I wasn’t stupid, but I struggled with homework, especially anything that was of no interest to me. I often fell asleep in class daydreaming missing lessons, and social studies was probably one of the worst areas for me (very very boring, that was impossible for me to pay attention to). My math teacher had noticed that when we took tests or quizzes, the difference between me and the other kids was that they would get all the way done and got about 15% or more of it wrong, where I would not be able to finish, but what I finished was correct. It’s like I needed more time to work though it than they did. That was the only teacher that realized something was off. Probably because I was a pretty reserved kid to those who I didn’t know since I went to a new school nearly every year until the 6th grade. Any attempts to make friends or be social were quickly dismissed due to my perceived rudeness (blurting things out came across as rude). English was hard for me because the stories or essays I would write made sense to my brain, but to anyone else reading it it was “all over the place and things didn’t relate”.

    It takes a lot of conscious effort to not write novel responses to people in text messages (very god example right now), and sometimes I send a good 3 or 4 before I realize what I just did. I have to set time limits on myself at work every day to make sure I”m being conscious of how much time I’m spending on certain tasks so that I’m not lingering on anything that I actually do enjoy doing and am moving on to get all things done that I am responsible for. Sometimes I will be reading something I love and I could spend hours doing this (I call this getting lost in the tabs). I will start reading about something that intrigues me, and when I come across a different point or detail that is interesting I will open another tab – and this happens continuously until I’ve got about 40 or more tabs open. When someone is talking to me, I tell myself to listen, and am trying to zero in on just listening – but at some point my brain wanders off and I miss half of what they just said to me. It is so embarrassing to tell someone you were listening but then have to ask them what they just said to you (happens to me at work with my boss, and at times I have to call and ask her what she told me because I missed details of it or don’t remember hearing her say anything about at all). How can you tell somebody “I’m sorry, I was trying so hard to listen”? Not easy for non adhd folks to understand.

    My mom constantly is checking in to make sure that I’ve not forgotten something, which is both helpful and aggravating. I hate being treated like a 12 year old whos being asked if her homework is done, but I do forget important things that can really cause some problems for me. It is very out of sight out of mind. I am on medication now, which helps for me to be able to take on those tasks that were so “impossible” for me to imagine doing before, but I still struggle with organization and am finding more ways to handle that better. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not for another. Slowly but surely we are finding the things that work for me to help me be successful. It has been hard being mistaken my entire life, wishing we had known this a long time ago. A lot of things could have been different for me, but all we can do now is learn to work with it and move forward.

    I was 26 years old when I started medication & therapy for this. I tried to go to college and had to drop out due to an illness. Now that I have two more kids in the mix, I felt like that dream was out of reach for me before. At this point I have a little hope that it might actually be possible for me to handle it and be successful, and that is something I have wanted so badly.

  76. For me, when I’m having a really bad ADD day I end up in this weird place between exhausted and energized. My mind feels like it’s buzzing, and like on of the examples you originally posted, I feel kind of dissociated from the world around me, in that I can’t focus on things long enough to really be present…even when actively completing a task or having a conversation, something is always running in the background. Imagine sitting at your kitchen table at 11 o’clock at night, with your brain worn out from the day, trying to mark papers (or get work done or whatever), and someone in the living room is watching TV loud enough for you to hear, but not quite loud enough for you to catch every word. Subconsciously your brain is going to try and pick up those pieces of conversation, and no matter how hard you try to focus on reading the sentences in front of you, about 25% of your brain will be attending to that TV in the background. That’s how I feel on bad days. And (particularly if I didn’t sleep well the night before), when the background distraction builds up to a certain point, my brain feels too fuzzy to focus on anything and I feel stuck in that state of being half awake. It can also be really hard to explain to my friends and other people just how much of an effect ADD has on my ability to focus, sometimes even with medication. It feels like I simply don’t have the willpower or strength to force myself to focus, even if I want to, no matter how hard I try. It can be frustratingly futile to feel powerless against your own brain!

    However, there are upsides to ADD! Like another user mentioned, it makes me feel energized and excited and curious about life and learning new and different things. When I’m able to focus (and when I actually remember to take my medicine…), this energy can become really productive. Because of my enthusiasm, I’m really driven and passionate about my involvements, and in college took on a lot of leadership roles and took a lot of initiative on projects and research, etc., and it has really benefited my academic life (I’m going into biomedical research so my work life is my academic life). And I think it makes life more exciting! I love that I’m spontaneous and adventurous and goofy and I think a lot of that comes from me owning the ways that ADD has affected my personality. I was diagnosed as a kid, as was my twin sister, so I think that I am fortunate to have a positive outlook on managing my ADD since I’ve had help doing it since I was pretty young, and having a sibling diagnosed with it as well made me feel that it was more ‘normal’ and less stigmatizing than it would have otherwise felt.

  77. It’s like sitting in a room with a chore to do, a person, a tv, a computer, a tablet and a cell phone.
    You start off with watching tv then remember the chore that needs to be done.
    You head for the supplies to clean a stain, then wonder if this is the right or best way to do it.
    You sit at the computer to look it up, while asking the person if they have any ideas.
    They offer you 3 ideas which you promptly forget.
    Your get a message on your phone and go to check it and see the article you were reading earlier and continue to read.
    Then you open 3 new tabs with 3 corresponding articles that you will want to read later, and click on a 4th link to read now.
    Something happens on the tv and as you glance over, the stain catches your eye, and just before you get up you remember your research.
    You do a search on your phone on the current tab, forgetting all about your article. The video you find would be better on a bigger screen so you cast it to the tv by muscle memory, disconnect, apologize for interrupting the other person watching the tv, grab your tablet to use instead.
    There’s a game notification and you click on it and proceed to spend another 30 minutes playing your game until you look up and wonder what you were doing and where all the time got to.
    And now it’s time to start dinner.

  78. I was diagnosed in my early 40’s after missing some major deadlines on a million dollar project. Nearly lost my job. Now, a decade later, I’ve completed my bachelors and master’s degrees. Went through about 4 different Rxs with a variety of dosages before I found what worked for me.

    My analogy is bees in a hive. There are thousands of them doing their jobs. But I’m all those bees. Running around trying to touch on each little piece with nothing getting done. Also, I can’t seem to live in the moment. While having dinner with friends or my husband, I’m wolfing down my food because I’m ready to get ‘on with’ the next thing (course in the meal, on to the movie, etc). This even happens to me regarding showers…my brain is already on to the next task and I haven’t even stepped into the shower yet. This makes me not want to take the time to take a shower, brush my teeth, etc as it’s keeping me from the next thing in my brain.

  79. I have not been diagnosed by a medical professional with ADD/ADHD but have been told from school counselors and others that I have it. The Phyciatrist I did see told me I have BiPolar disorder “with only the highs.” I’m sure that this is incorrect, however, I think he’s reluctant to give me medications for ADD/ADHD because I’m a recovering Alcoholic/Addict. Today I’m having an especially difficult time with whatever I have. I’m used to my brain starting to shake at times, forgetting where I put things (or even why I come into room), I even forget words to say in conversations consistently. I’m used to doing several things at one time and not doing any of them very well. I do not like that I tap my toes or shake my leg or fiddle with my facial hair or the hair on my neck almost all of the time. When I was drinking I could at least not feel it but now that I’ve stopped, I feel it way too often. I drink entire pots of coffee, in fact, I cannot go to sleep at night unless I drink some caffiene. An energy drink, pot of coffee and giant 64 oz cola or something or I will be up all night. I remember back in undergrad I took Adderall (unprescibed) and in about 45 minutes (how long it took me to walk to school) everything would start to slow down. At least I thought it did. I don’t remember having any of these problems while I was taking it. I don’t agree with the Psycologist’s diagnosis because the medication he gave me barely works and the further I get from my sobriety date, the worse it gets. BiPolar infers TWO poles and he said “I only have highs.” Since I stopped drinking, I don’t have depression issues, nor anxiety issues. I’ve seen some similiar descriptions above and really wonder if I have ADHD, which in my non-medical opinion, would be bipolar with only highs.

    But for an analogy for the way I feel most of the time, especially without copious amounts of caffeine, I would describe it something like a luge. The track goes straight down at a 70 deg pitch, at night with lights. You are supposed to determine how many blue ones are along the way on an infinite track.

    1. You need a new psychiatrist because if he knew what he was doing, he’d also know it wouldn’t have the addictive properties for you. The ADHD brain doesn’t react to amphetamine’s like a neurotypical typical brain does. For the “normal” person, they get hyper and feel a rush of adrenaline. That experience can be addictive for many people. They want that high, hyper, super invincible feeling, so they begin chasing it. The ADHD brain doesn’t react that way at all.

      These drugs act on your dopamine levels which are transmitters from one cell to another. ADHD brains have a higher concentration of dopamine transporters that (despite the name) block the transmission. So for someone like us, it just helps bridge the gap between cells and we feel normal. You don’t get a rush, you don’t get anxious, you don’t get any of the feelings associated emotionally or chemically with the drug.

      The one reliable test for ADHD is to take a low dose and see if you feel anxious/hyper, or you feel nothing much at all. If you have ADHD it may help you focus, but it you won’t experience the high experienced by others.

      So find a new psychiatrist

  80. For me adhd is like a theory in the video game series Halo where the ai think themselves to death. Its like I have a thousands differemt thoughts that fly by while one stay prevalent in the background and they all just compete for my attention slowing everything down untill I go inzane like an ai burning its hardware out. Luckily though I have a very supportive family and friends who help me out.

  81. I am not sure if anyone else really resonates with this or has thoughts on it, but if anyone does I’d love the input:

    I’m a 21 year old, female college student, and I have been diagnosed with general anxiety since I was sixteen. I’ve tried a number of medications, and some have sort of helped but not super noticeably. To be honest, I started to accept that this is how I will feel most of the time. However, as I’ve been going through college I have started questioning whether that was the right diagnosis. I am starting to think I might have ADHD, but I’m not sure because some of these descriptions completely resonate with me… some not as much.

    For example, I am able to do well in school (though I do have the same testing accommodations for anxiety as those for ADHD students: private room + extended time), I can be organized when I need to, and I don’t lose things as often as some members on here have described. On the other hand, my brain is constantly buzzing, I get bored easily (to the point that I even detest sitting and watching full movies), I always switch between a multitude of hobbies, I need exercise to stay even relatively calm, I have trouble staying in the moment because I’m always thinking about what’s next, I don’t like longterm “commitments” because I don’t know how long I’ll be interested in that particular thing, if I am interested in something I will hyper-focus on it for hours and get irritated at anything that interrupts me, and there are many times when I’m so entertained by my own thoughts that I struggle to interact or listen to people.

    I think my “anxiety” is actually a coping mechanism for functioning in daily life, especially as a female who has always been expected to do well and be “perfect.” I realize that I use fear (anxiety) to artificially motivate myself to do things I consider dull; this gets extremely exhausting. For example, I will work myself up and completely convince myself that if I don’t do well on a test it is the end of the world or I’m a horrible person… which will motivate me to go actually concentrate and study a few nights before. This same warped logic applies to everything from mundane chores to arriving somewhere on time. As I’ve been in college I’ve come to realize more and more how unsustainable this is. As soon as I relax it is like my brain is in Lala land relative to the rest of the world, and I don’t get anything done properly. So I feel like my life has become a dichotomy where I can “live like I’m constantly in a life or death situation” and “keep up” with the world or have relief from anxiety but be less “successful.”

    Does that make any sense?

  82. Ok. Im not officially diagnosed, but every person i know, even my ADHD friends, say they think I have it. It feels as if, i don’t know. Oh! (Loses focus), umm. Yeah, it feels as if i am sitting here. And i have several “tabs” or “planes’ we’ll call em. So i will be working on something, and listening to someone talk, but suddenly my brain hops onro another plane. The other day, (it was silent) i was like, “Corn.” I connect the most random things. Like today, I went to try to work on my science notes, (we take notes directly from the book), and I had an hour. 45 minutes in, (they were due today), I look down, and I have almost nothing written. I don’t even know what i did with that time! I constantly look in math class, arg! I didn’t do that on purpose! My brain does that! I constantly LOSE focus. For Example; in math class, my teacher asked a question. I raised my hand to answer. She calls on me, and I respond with, “What? Oh, um… oh yeah!… *answers*”. I also have issues with procrastination, anxiety, and a stressful environment. So the point was….
    ADHD. Yeah. (Just stared into space for 3 minutes.) Im not exxagerating. Somedays i work so fast, it feels as if i drank a movie theater cup of dr. Pepper, and everything is slower than normal. Other days I am so distacted, I can’t remember what day of the week it is, what i ate, or what i am supposed to be doing. K bye. (Ive already ranted, and lost track of what this is supposed to be anymore)

  83. Imagine someone else has the remote to your tv and continuously scrolls through every channel. I want to see and comprehend the details of each program, but as soon as I start to understand, the channel changes again.

  84. I don’t know for sure if I have inattentive ADHD yet but I suppose I’ve always felt like I was lost in a foreign country. Have you ever felt lost in the middle of a crowd in a foreign country? That’s what it is like for me most of the time. The “crowd” could be an actual crowd but it’s also a metaphor for my racing thoughts. When you are in a foreign country, you’re usually wondering what’s going on. I have the same with my mind. I don’t know if that makes sense haha but for me it’s a perfect metaphor. And people have actually already said I seemed like I was lost somewhere else. I don’t know if it’s really ADHD but that’s basically what it feels like. Obviously it has had impacts on my daily life. The biggest issue I’m thinking about now is my indecisiveness. I can’t make decisions at all and it’s not just deciding about important life courses. It’s also deciding whether I’ll have mayo or garlic mayo in my sandwich like it was the most crucial choice to make in my life… People get annoyed about that but I’m the one to be the most annoyed about it. Other issues include: my lack of organization (hard time sticking to plans, messy room…), forgetfulness (contanstly losing things which actually cost a lot of money to be replaced…) and my social difficulties.

  85. ADHD is like going out in public with a huge pimple on your face. You’re aware of it, you can’t hide it, you wished you could get rid of it and everyone is an expert on it. The most frustrating side effect from ADHD is the perceptions, lack of understanding, lack of belief and insensitivity towards it. When people find out you have ADHD they usually respond in one of the following ways: “its not a real disorder just laziness, an excuse”, “I haven’t been tested but I am positive I have it because I can never focus”, “Oh you take medication, my (insert family member) has that but they don’t need the medication”, “everyone has that on some level”, etc. For those who grew up in the mid-to-late 1980s and early 1990s, ADD was hardly known and girls did NOT have it. Only little boys could have ADD. Most grew up without even knowing there was such a disorder and you were just a bad child with no ambition, no intelligence and a pain in the side of every teacher. I was told on several occasions that I would never make it in life, college was out of the question and I should be grateful I was attractive. My graduation from high school and college were filled with jokes about barely making it out with a degree. When I landed my first big job, I had so many fears surrounding performing successfully that I decided to get on medication. Which began a whole new level of questions and concerns about eating, sleeping, emotional outburst, impulsiveness, paranoid, etc. Most don’t realize that for someone that has ADHD, we are the most hard on ourselves, we have spent most of our lives praying to be normal, wondering what is so wrong with us, to not have to rely on medications, to not be an emotionless robot and control our impulses.

    Despite its downfalls and struggles, I have learned to be a peace with being ADHD. It’s my driving force that keeps the chip on my shoulder to never give up on my goals. I have found success in my job as my constantly moving mind is a benefit, I have a 3.8 GPA in my MHA grad school program, I got into grad school based on my GRE/GMAT scores, I excelled on a standardized test (GRE/GMAT). I still struggle with impulsiveness, restlessness, organizing tasks and I have to coach myself constantly while reminding myself how important this is to me. I sometimes find myself going to each floor of the parking garage at the end of the day because I can’t remember which floor I parked on in the morning. I have a nonexistent social life because it takes me more time to focus on doing homework than actually doing it. However, as graduation approaches in May, I remind myself that this was never supposed to be in my cards. Although more widely known, ADHD still is considered more an annoyance than a disorder. A few months ago, I overheard a woman tell her friend that they just found out her elementary aged son has ADHD then she said it’s okay college isn’t for everyone. It’s important that children with ADHD know that they can achieve academic and professional success.

  86. I wrote an essay about this before I knew I had ADHD and it actually won me 2nd place in a contest. It’s like I’m in a car headed towards brick walls, and every wall is a deadline. Sometimes I can swerve just before I hit the wall, and sometimes I break right through; I take damage every time, but I’m always continuing on. There’s no brakes and there’s always another wall. To relax I try to ignore the walls but some hurt more than others, and who knows which wall will be my last. I try to act cool but I’m always afraid I won’t be able to dodge it in time. It’s always so hard to dodge the walls, the car is convoluted and requires much more effort than it should. But I can’t make myself move until the wall is right in front of me, no matter how hard I try. I’m scared I won’t come out on the other side of the wall, maybe some deadline will break me and I’ll have destroyed something important. Sometimes it feels pointless, there will always be another wall. And the worst is when I try as hard as I can to make myself do anything, but no matter what I do I can’t even lift a finger to stop myself from crashing and getting hurt again. One day my car will break down and I’ll be stranded and left behind. Or maybe I won’t survive the impact at all. But until then I’ll never learn my lesson and I’ll just keep on living life as a crash test dummy.

  87. Thanks so much for putting this together. I was feeling down (thinking about some things that have gone on in my life and this helped to reassure me that I’m not the only one suffering from it.

  88. It feels like a constant fog in my mind. This fog isn’t produced from lack of sleep or lack of energy though. Its source is that I have so many goals, daily tasks, ideas, conversation points, frustrations, competing priorities, self doubt, shame, cell phone addiction, etc… that everything together makes life feel unbearable. It feels like this fog has almost become a defense mechanism to protect me from failure. If I can’t recall this information quickly or even remember it at all, was it really that important? Clearly not, otherwise I would have remembered it. Which seems like a weird way to protect me from failing. What its actually doing though is causing paralysis in my mind and only enforcing the cycle of learned helplessness. I just want to feel like I can accomplish something but if I struggle to remember it the next day or the oh so familiar feeling of worthlessness makes its way back in, then there is no point in my mind. So I just sit and stare at whatever screen is in front of me because if that can keep my attention then maybe that is something important right……? Wrong, I can only watch so many videos about how to reuse soda bottles for an ottoman so many times….

  89. I am 43. All my life (and i mean from the age of 4) i drank coffee, as an adult 2-3 pots a day. I needed it to be basically functional. I had to have a cup before bed to settle my mind enough to sleep. It wasnt until the last year that i realized what was going on. My poor memory had become. A rnning joke at work.

    I am a very smart guy, but never accomplished much. Ive had so many different jobs from being a baker, butcher, network administrator, sheet metal worker, and software developer, along with several others.

    I have 5 years of college under my belt but no degree. I went from nursing to electronics to computer science to out of money for my education. I just see a shiny new squirell and chase it all while trying to figure out where i left my effing coffee cup.

    Sorry starting to ramble. Anyway knowing so many different skills and amassing all that knowlege hasnt made me rich or sucsessful. Ive cashed out 3 retirement funds to keep me affloat between jobs. That is where ADD got me.

    The roaming interests and curiosity stem from the disorganized thoughts and completely geeking out on one thing or another.

    Day to day it was extreemly difficult to keep track of things and tasks. My ex used to get mad and call me lazy because i forgot to mow the grass or fix that thing i forgot even needed fixing a week ago.

    I started medication a week ago… I never knew how… Quiet… My brain could be. I never knew the difference. I can finish a task, I KNOW where i left my coffee cup, and it isn’t in the fridge.. But the quiet and the peace in my brain, i never knew it was even a thing.
    I realize that previously ALL the noises sounds and sights got through unfiltered overstimulating me and ruining my focus, now i can choose what i focus on… At least until 6pm when the meds wear off

  90. I found it!! The comment section that is.. I don’t even know if I for sure have ADHD but I know for a fact I can totally relate to a lot of what I’ve read! Like information hoarding.. what is that? Why is it that I would want MORE info flying around in my skull.. but I love it and can’t get enough! And sometimes it feels like I’m in the eye of a storm but it’s in slow motion and I can see everything so clearly but I can’t get out of it to tell anyone about it! And when I have your attention- you had better clear your schedule for the rest of the day because all that info I just absorbed needs to be emptied out somewhere so I can fill it back up! Sometimes I feel like the rpm’s in my “engine” were revved way higher than I’m actually needing to travel and I should just stop and take a breath before I try to speak so I’m not slurring my words or typing something so rediculously wrong thwatni have to send 3 more more texts to correct all the mistakes, why can’t spell check think better, I can’t understand why it can’t come up with a logical word for my misprint?? And other times it’s as if I’m standing at a starting gate to a race and I’m ready and set and the go never comes..for me.. and if it does and I don’t have blinders on that “go” time wil often GO all over the place! And all the tabs open and notes EVERYWHERE and why am I so analytical and particular about how things are while standing in a mound of yuck, of my own making.. I could go on and on… I too have a never ending supply of great ideas and insight and can usually see so far into a conversation that I have a VERY hard time letting the other person say in their words what they mean.. I don’t want to be on any meds.. no thanks, but I’m also in a Perimenopausal state and my fluctuations are pretty bad right now… ugh. I often remind people how much they love me and would have nothing to do if they didn’t have me in their world.. lol they know I’m joking and that I love them for putting up w me!

  91. In a way I have trouble considering the fact that ADHD is a disorder. When you hear about a disorder, you can’t help it. With ADHD, yes its true that i dont prcess information the same way, but at the same time, I can always manage it or find a strategy to improve myself. Being able to experience life living with ADHD has made me appreciate life more. People want you to react a certain way because thats what they are used to. What’s ironic about this concept is that someone with ADHD can blend in and understand the social norms, while someone who is considered “normal” cannot understand our reasoning. I am blessed to experienced what it is like to be ADHD because it allows me to broaden my views

  92. We all sometimes forget our keys, forget to do our assignments, leave something at home by accident, zone out during conversations, and daydream. Now imagine doing this almost everyday, better yet every second, of your life.

    Its a constant struggle letting people down unintentionally; many people have told me “you aren’t even trying to listen”, “you lost my item, you don’t even care about other people’s belongings”, “just pay attention for 5 seconds.”

    However, I am trying. What I have thought my whole entire life was: Why is it so easy for other people to be normal? Why can’t I remember to turn in my assignments on time for once? Why can’t I hear someone’s story the first time they say it? Why are my grades lower than they should be, even after I studied twice as hard than everyone else? Why can’t I go to sleep for hours because my brain won’t stop thinking of random thoughts?

    Most people thought I was just a smart girl who was a little bit of an airhead, daydreamer, and in my own world. Up until 3 months ago, I thought this too until I asked for help. Being in college and being completely independent made my life even more of a struggle than it was before. Now I was forgetting to go to class, go to doctors appointments, being late to work, and procrastinating until the last minute to do something thats due in an hour (like right now >:( ).

    After getting help, I realized that I am a girl with ADHD-inattentive type. Now everything made sense, it wasn’t because that I was less of a person for being the way that I am. Medication has helped me so much these last few months, and although I still struggle everyday, I am glad I have ADHD. I am creative, spontaneous, funny, and have the superpower of hyper focusing. My ADHD benefits these valued characteristics of mine so much, and I would not want to trade it for anything.

  93. My thing, as well as most of the above, is being late always every day for every single thing. How can you be late for work every day? How can you excuse that? Its actually embarrassing. I get up way earlier than colleagues and friends, yet am late, permanently. My thing is I just zone out, my mind wanders, by the time I catch myself and reorient, lots of time has gone, then I go to do the next thing and zone out again. I have awful time management, can’t function in mornings but I am bouncing off the walls at bedtime, can’t sleep cause my crazy brain won’t switch off. 40 years old and nothings changed. I would love to experience a day in the life of a normal person, I bet it’s bliss.

  94. It feels like every thought I have is a gateway with two things inside of it. One is my thoughts, the deeper ones anyway. The other thing is the inescapable black hole that instantly pulls me into those thoughts. Once in them, the best way to describe it is this: due to my thoughts being tons of stories I make, imagine you being stripped of everything that’s you. This world dissolves from your thoughts, memories, and vision. You no longer exist and are replaced by a character, someone else but yet still you. And now you’re in a different world, with no memory of this one, until tapped on the shoulder or something loud happens.

  95. For me, it’s like driving a nice car, say a Mercedes or Lexus. Only problem is, the parking brake is almost always stuck on, and the power steering rarely works. Everything looks good from the outside, but you hardly ever get the performance out of the car that you know it should be capable of. Other motorists pass you and wonder what your problem is, but there’s really no way for them to understand why your seemingly good looking car performs more like a Pinto most of the time. Most people don’t have sympathy because they just assume you’re a crappy driver who doesn’t know how to use your car the way that was intended.

  96. If you’ve watched enough SpongeBob SquarePants episodes, you’ll get this reference. Think back to the episode where SpongeBob is learning to be a waiter in squidward’s “fine dining” restaurant. SpongeBob’s brain is made up of a bunch of tiny SpongeBobs, in a very organized room with very organized filing cabinets. This is how I feel having a normal brain would be like. Then Squidward tells SpongeBob to forget everything but fine dining and breathing and the tiny guys in his brain start shredding and burning “files”. Later, someone asks SpongeBob what his name is and in his brain the tiny SpongeBobs are running around frantically, desperately searching for a name. Papers are flying everywhere, everyone is in a panic and even one SpongeBob is on fire. That’s my brain. In a long, highly descriptive analogy.

  97. Adhd is like trying to program a sound system. What others may interpret as subtle background noise can be just as prominent as the lead singer’s voice.
    I notice this when I am at a restaurant and can hear 3 seperate conversations at other tables, the hum of the ice machine, dishes being stacked etc. My husband often thinks I am eavesdropping when in reality, it takes all my focus to hone in on what he is saying.

  98. For me it’s like being paralyzed and confined to a bed or a chair. I have something that I want to do, something that I really really want, be that a project or whatever but like someone paralyzed there are just certain things you can’t do and so you fall into what you are able to do, settle with it and get lost in it.

    I have ADHD and ASD and the ADHD makes stimulating things more attractive (Youtube/Television/Social Media) anything with audio and visual stimulation and social stimulation but then there is the ASD where I have my special interest/hobby which is usually felt as an obsession but because of the ADHD I have trouble with that and it frustrates me to no end and leads to mental and emotional exhaustion which makes things like Youtube more appealing because I can just get lost in the videos and it doesn’t take any real effort. It’s a bad combination of disorders.

  99. My mind in constant motion without an off switch. The most difficult thing for me is shutting my brain off. Expecially at night when I have to quiet my brain, but instead, I spend hours navigating all the experiences of my day. Its like a motor in my head I cannot turn off. My greatest challenge is convincing people around me that I am not doing the things I do on purpose.

  100. Sometimes I am hyperfocused and can get a million thing done in a day, sometimes I’m hyperfocused and focus on one thing and nothing else all day which has its pros and cons. But most often I have to try really hard to stay on task the other day I was studying when I glanced at my coat jacket for 2 seconds. I saw the pin on my jacket and went from that pin to thinking about a different pin that I got at an event which made me jump to the drive to the event which made me think of my favorite thing in the world cars. From there I continued to spiral jumping from memory to memory piecing thoughts together that have no correlation. When I finally snapped out of my trance ten minutes had gone by. Having ADHD is like your mind is a television without a remote except the volume is too loud the channels always changing and the subtitles are backwards

  101. Just found out I have Inattentive ADHD. I’m 17, and currently applying to colleges. I’ve always been a great student but every time I do homework (honestly just getting it done is rare) that I’m not interested by I feel like my brain is on fire. The most restless part of me that hasn’t found peace with the way I function was quieted a little when I read this post. Thank you so, so much.

    To me ADHD at its worst feels like being in the impact zone of a choppy ocean. Every time I come up to catch my breath I see another wave coming and have to close my eyes and go under again so I’m not crushed. It’s very anxiety-producing.

    Thank you again.

  102. I can relate to all of this. I feel like I’m plate spinning with lots of plates spinning simultaneously and having to go back to the ones that are about to hit the ground and get them spinning again. I don’t have a diagnosis but i’m currently trying to get to the bottom of my 5 year old sons fidgeting and attention issues and I’m sure he gets it from me. The way I am is all starting to make sense now I have researched ADD and ADHD.

  103. I can totally relate to Dori from the Disney movie Nemo, most of the time not instantaneous forgetfulness. But I can be in the middle of a conversation or thought and completely forget what I was talking about. Sometimes it just never comes back to me for hours or days, then I blurt out what I was trying to say 2 days ago. Sometimes to myself just so I can hear it. ADHD is so frustrating in so many ways and causes me great anxiety, but at the same time, I often find it helps with multitasking as long as the tasks are not mundane. Medicine helps, but side affects are horrible with everything I have tried, but Straterra is by far the best I’ve taken.

    BTW, this is the BEST forum for an accurate description of how living with ADHD feels

  104. I literally feel different than everybody else, I feel like I’m paying attention way too much… but then I’m missing everything at the same time. I have so much information in my brain all trying to come out at the same time, but I cant spit it out, because i feel like nobody else is going to understand what I’m trying to put together. Which is all fine, I work best with stress, right? But when I finally get home and try to wind down, and here comes my wife asking me the simplest of questions, and the t.v. is going, and my kids are running around and the dog just got into the trash… and boom… I’m not “best under stress”, I’m the asshole, the problem. And then other times I feed on that energy in the house and im “too much”. I’m running around to much, im too loud, I’m trying to show my kids the way I learned a back flip in the middle of the living room… Nobody’s told me that I’m being “too much” but I know I am… arent I? And that last sentence exactly explains anytime I go out. I have fun, then in my head “chill dude, wtf?!” Then have fun, afterwards “dude why the fuck did u say that, u fucked up , every one hates you” but then I’m moving and that’s situation is gone, cuz I found me a new one, and away we go. I dont know if that’s adhd, my dr says it is. But even with their medicine, I dont feel like what I think the others feel like… does that make sense ya’ll

  105. On good days i can focus my willpower into intense bursts to concentrate on something. Albeit for a short time. On my worst day it is like my brain took over the wheel of my body and left me so i could daydream. I ponder over nagging thoughts for ridiculously long amounts of time. It is like my thoughts are on turbocharge most of the time. And mundane and repetitve tasks bore me alot. I will either hide inside my brain and daydream while doing something boring or i just won’t do it. Exactly why i do badly at school. But if i like what i’m doing you can expect me to do it quickly and do it well. Fun and interesting things captivate me and hold my attention. But anything else and im gonna daydream about if i was the main character in a video game or tv show.

  106. I never understood why I couldn’t function like everyone else. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get to work on time, couldn’t remember my purse, my keys, my dr appointments. The list goes on and on. Then at 46 I was diagnosed with ADHD. however I prefer ADD because there’s no hyper in how I feel. Instead I continually feel exhausted as if someone drained my battery and Im winding down while all of the other energizer bunnies are zipping by. It’s quite a paradox to be exhausted but your mind is on 500 different things at once.

    The only way I can describe it, is that it’s like being inside of an invisible bird cage, trapped while the rest of the world goes about it’s business functioning normally. They don’t see your cage so they don’t believe you’re trapped. They just think you don’t WANT to escape and do things their way. They think you simply refuse to step forward, because they don’t see the barrier between you. Meanwhile your rattling the cage screaming SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF HERE! Only they don’t know you desperately want out.

    The biggest challenge inside this cage that I face, is time. I loose hours, switch days in my head, and collapse time. I inexplicably think it’s thursday all day when it’s tuesday and miss all of my appointments that day. …because it’s Thursday, But it’s not. Then when I snap out of it and realize what I’ve forgotten or missed, I hate myself for doing it again. For being a mess and unreliable.

    Today my husband had a medical appointment and I forgot it. He told me this morning and I still forgot. It was important. Something that could have been really bad for him and I never asked him how it went. He waited for me to ask and of course I never did, so when he asked if I wanted to know right before bed I said. Oh my god I forgot! He took it as another example of how I don’t care. I didn’t even say it was my ADHD brain because he doesn’t believe me. He can’t conceive that there’s any other way to perceive time than how he does. How normal people do. So, now I sit inside my bird cage tappping away at my computer while he sleeps. I’m resigned to the idea that I am a selfish horrible person because I can’t explain that it wasn’t intentional because he says it’s just an excuse I use.

    Just outside my cage is “normal” and I’ll never get there.

  107. I never understood why I couldn’t function like everyone else. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get to work on time, couldn’t remember my purse, my keys, my doctor appointments. The list goes on and on. Then at 47 I was diagnosed with ADHD.

    I prefer ADD because there’s no hyper in how I feel. Instead I continually feel exhausted as if someone drained my battery and I’m winding down while all of the other energizer bunnies are zipping by. It’s quite a paradox to be exhausted but your mind is on jumping everywhere.

    The only way I can describe ADHD to someone is that it’s like being inside of an invisible bird cage, trapped, while the rest of the world goes about its business functioning normally. They don’t see your cage so they don’t believe you’re trapped. They just think you don’t WANT to escape and do things their way. They think you are simply refusing to step forward, because they don’t see the barrier between you and them. Meanwhile the ADHD person is rattling the cage screaming SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF HERE! Only they don’t hear you so they don’t know you desperately want out.

    The biggest challenge I face inside this cage, is time. I loose hours, switch days in my head, and collapse time. I inexplicably think it’s Thursday all day when it’s Tuesday I went to bed knowing it was Tuesday but it somehow gets rerouted and I suddenly think it’s Thursday. I go about my business missing all of my appointments, all of my commitments … because it’s Thursday. But it’s not. Then when I snap out of it and realize what I’ve forgotten or missed. I hate myself for doing it again and being an unreliable mess.

    Today was a classic example. My husband had a medical appointment and I forgot it. He told me this morning and I still forgot. It was important. Something that could have been really bad news and I knew he was nervous.

    I never asked him how it went. He waited for me to ask and of course I never did, so when he finally asked if I wanted to know right before bed I said, “Oh my god I forgot!” He was mad and took it as another example of how I don’t care. I didn’t even bother to say it was my ADHD brain because he doesn’t believe me. He can’t conceive that there’s any other way to perceive time than how he does. Every normal person perceives time the same way. Except I’m not normal. So, now I sit inside my bird cage tapping away at my computer in the dark while he sleeps. I’m resigned to the idea that he thinks I’m a selfish, horrible person. He says it’s just an excuse I use and it’s futile to try and explain that there’s this bird cage you see … and I’m trapped inside.

    Just outside my cage is “normal” but I’ll never get out to experience it.

    1. I’m really glad I stumbled upon this article & comment thread.

      I’m damn near flabbergasted by the similarities I share with y’alls personal tidbits in respect to what/how ADHD impacts daily life.

      I apologize for rambling for a bit & then just cutting the story off. You don’t wanna know how long it took me to post these few paragraphs to this link. — I tried to incorporate my demeanor while having ADHD.

      Q. Who’s your favorite band/Singer?
      Easy enough, right ? For me it’s Led Zeppelin. Well it’s harder than one might think… especially if you’re like me & only know certain songs from hit albums by the tune, or maybe just the chords from a song…
      Does anyone else only know lyrics to some songs? While distinguishing other hit songs solely by hearing & feeling the drum beat? Not having the slightest clue to anything being sang? Like I can hear just fine… it’s just with some pieces of music I can’t separate vocals from instrumental — it has to be one or the other.— hyper focus.

      In a typical day having ADHD (haven’t used medication since undergraduate almost 4 years ago)

      Quite often after snoozing a fourth alarm clock (if I actually rested for more than 4 hours) OR quite often after turning an alarm off prematurely (nights when you toss/turn & feel suffocated from random thoughts/emotions) I’ll start my day.

      Luckily, I always prepare my clothes the night before…
      …I mean I started to…
      …but I guess I only managed to lay out a pair of slacks & socks… hmmm where’s that blue shirt I like so much???
      …So as I head to the laundry room to grab a fresh shirt I then notice the laundry I started two days ago that never made it to the dryer…
      No big deal though…I’ll just re wash them & dry them this evening…
      Using the last two tide pods on my ‘rewash’ I make a mental note for my grocery check list. I’ll just have to find where I put that damn physical list at when I get home from work this evening because I’ll never remember to get detergent… In the mean time…thinking about laundry I did just remember that one skinny button-up shirt I wore out over the weekend with my golfing buddies… “it’s a sharp shirt & its still clean!!!” Right on the floor right where I took it off Saturday night —so I’ll just throw that on for work today!

      Note* ^I’m still on time for work—
      …SO having been blessed with this great imagination & seeing myself as being a total health nut with a fake tan here soon, I make the statement out loud. Whether it be for the world or my two kitty cats to hear I decide I should grab a protein shake at the gas station on my way to work. Begin a healthy journey with my body, ya know? Ditch the carbs & pack the protein, right?
      — After finally locating my ‘spare’ car keys in the house I begin my short, scenic drive to the office. While on route I was tapping my feet to one of my favorite tunes that I never learned a lyric or even a chorus to…
      …(all the while using my gifted imagination that I’m cruising in a blacked out Corvette with its top off…) hmmm?
      (…yeah the macho, fake tan, protein junky was just a dumb daydream—I already lost interest with that)

      * What did you expect? Commitment?^

      Continued…
      …As I pull in sideways, raising hell in my little white Volvo (I mean that blacked out corvette I was imagining) I surpisinly managed to get to work 23 minutes early.

      After parking & briefly getting antagonized by all the damn canadien geese swarming & making a ruckus in the parking lot next to the lake, I made a dash for the door. Shoo-wee-ing honking creatures as I jogged past, avoiding any potential kamikaze goose raid, I protected my head while entering the building with my Victorinox briefcase. Immediately I’m overcome with a soft, sweet aroma. Hmmm ?
      That smell? It smells like… like… My second grade English teacher’s chocolate chip cookies I had 15 years ago. Just before I begin to stalk & search for a cookie recipe that I’ll probably print out but never actually use for baking, I realize I never did make it to the gas station…did I?
      However, due to my fast driving & vivid imagination I was “early” today, and have time to get some breakfast.

      …After three, $5 scratch off losers & a couple snickers bars I made my way back to work with the Volvo. Only just now am I noticing my gas light… which would mean I never pumped any gas the TWO separate trips I made to the gas station this morning…

      …Though now I’m walking in like a regular day, 5 minutes late.

  108. I’ve always said it’s like a ticker tape running 24/7 just above my head & to try to reach up & grab just 1 thought is so difficult because they just keep coming… or on the news when that bar constantly scrolls the bottom & never stops. That’s my brain. That is constantly happening in the background while I am trying to just hold onto 1 thought.

  109. Great article and great comments!! The only thing I wanted to add was the number of browser tabs people are reporting is making me realise just how bad I have it…. Just checked and I have 1,240 tabs open in Chrome and 23 in Edge… Good thing I have a powerful tower, I guess, haha

  110. Think of a person’s head/mind like a pillow and the feathers that stuff it are thoughts. Then imagine walking outside with said pillow and cutting it open so the feathers begin to fly away in the wind. You desperately try catching them so you can stuff them back in the pillow, but the more you chase one thought that seems important, all the other thoughts fly further away. You realize this and begin to wonder if some of those feathers are maybe more important and go back and forth between feathers, maybe catching a few on occasion. You dance around between thought, maybe unsure of which is more important, the one worthy of being focused on. Even if you know for a fact which feather is the most important and that doesn’t change, the other feathers still seem too precious to be let go, especially if it seems like maybe you can grab one or two of those on your way to the most important one, which slips away. Personally, I try planning ways around this and before you know it, I have spent hours overplanning or overthinking when I could have easily done a good amount of that in far less time. This makes me even more anxious and they just build on each other. Sometimes I will have homework for a class in front of me, not understand it and get frustrated by that and really want to give up but something keeps me tied tight to it so I cannot let go of it. I am not sure if that last bit is ADHD or one of my other (seemingly) many things, but my ADHD says to include it so there,

  111. Before medication, it was like being inside of a tornado while trying to do anything. When I was a kid, I remember being able to relate to the ant that lost the line and would freak out and speed around in circles trying to find it’s place in the world. The only times it felt that my brain, my body, and the rest of the world, existed on the same plane, were either when playing my guitar and writing songs, or when I would become very focused on something.

    What’s odd, however, is that when I reached my mid-20s, my brain added a new thing to the mix. In addition to feeling like boggle cube, I began spacing out for long periods of time. One morning I was driving to work, in Charleston, just ten minutes from my home, and the next thing I knew, I was in Columbia. I was an hour and a half away, with zero recollection of the drive. That was when I finally went to a doctor and began flying my plane with a co-pilot (medication). Things are still tornadic, but the F5 is more like an F2. At least now, I can see what I need among the many things hurling toward and past me, where before, every task seemed impossible from the start.

  112. Acloud of everything surrounding me. A fog of thoughts, connections, ideas, irrelevancies. I hate the question “”what are you thinking?” From Sig other. I used to lie and say nothing, or randomly grab something from the cloud…it also made me feel like I was mindless and bland. So hard to explain the opposite was true….l achieved 2 degrees, and heaps of interesting jobs (mainly Not in the degree fields) before diagnosis. We Can do the things if we get lucky, work super hard, use tricky adaptions, don’t study law or something BORING. I wonder what I would have achieved with a diagnosis before 46. Maybe family and kids? High placed job in degree fields? I joined a reenactment group, which gave me heaps of interesting friends and activities . (Odd hobby groups attract the neurodiverse…find your tribe and flourish.) I just figured I was lazy etc etc. (We know the blurb). It never occurred to me that other people didn’t have a cloud of unseen active everythings floating above them.

  113. Having ADHD is difficult. When people tell me how to do things all at once, I usually forget everything but the first or the last step. And in school, I ended up repeating ninth grade because my brain refused to pay attention to stuff that appealed to me as “boring” (such as maths or learning the English language in school).

  114. Un-diagnosed. 18 months of marriage counceling with a professional opened the door to the possibility of an ADD or ADHD condition. At the time (more than a few years ago) ADD/ADHD was not widely known and not considered as an explanation of my “problem”.
    And a “Problem” I had. I couldn’t work with others (my fault, of course), couldn’t concentrate on what others were saying, (why do mundanes talk so long about absolutely nothing?) and was told by every boss I ever had that I was useless. (while being fired)
    Cursed with a high IQ (142) I have struggled my whole life merely trying to be ‘normal’. Harsh discipline as a child and sent off to summer camps and boarding schools only pushed me further away from that cherished state of oblivion.
    Drugs and alcohol only provided a temporary distraction, with the predictable results.
    Without doubt my attitude sucks. I know fully well that its’ my worst trait. I usually wait for people to catch up to what I was thinking, only to be thinking about something else by the time they do. The result is I end up looking foolish, uncaring or just plain stupid.
    Plato is credited for saying “The unexamined life is not worth living”. I have dared to take the journey to the center of my being. It was a difficult and painful process. I examined all the BS I caused to others though my actions (or inactions) and accepted my role. I rose above myself. (it’s an ongoing process)
    I have so much I can offer, yet I sabotage my own efforts. My audience stares with vapid expressions and dismisses me as ‘weird’.
    From my perspective *I* am the normal one, and everyone else is slow. How would I have a comparison if I’ve never been ‘normal’? Conundrum.
    I’ve worked as a network admin, (no longer employed, surprised?) and have been instructed by executives to sabotage the network so the management would have a viable excuse for not getting work done! And THAT is supposed to be the ‘good’, ‘proper’ and ‘right’ way of doing business? To use MY intellect and MY reputation for those who lie, cheat and steal? How in the name of sanity does one do that?
    I have a theory; ADD/ADHD is not a condition, its’ a blessing. A wonderful gift. We have something the regular folks don’t have. It’s my secret superpower. (no tights and cape)
    Do we suffer for it? Oh yes, we do. We are criticized for something they do not know and are incapable of understanding. It embarrasses them. Therefor we are regulated to the fringes. Marginalized. Fired. We are put down so they can feel a little better about themselves.
    They have no idea that super men and women walk among them. We are literally the next wave of human evolution and they cry in vain at their inevitable passing.
    Do not let them stifle you. Are you reacting to ‘their’ perceptions of what normal is? Define your own. ‘They’ say you can’t have ‘too many tabs open’? It’s because they can’t handle it. You can. We cannot use their definition of progress.

    March to the sound of a distant plumber.

  115. Trying to hold a thought is like trying to balance a drop of water on the top of a soap bubble. Or a marble on top of a bowling ball. It will stay there for only an instant, then I have to put it back and try again…and again. Several of those brief moments, strung loosely together is the only way I ever get ANYTHING done. That includes writing this.

  116. I feel like I’m always trying to not forget things. I have my homework, I take it to school, then POOF!!!!! It’s GONE!!!! I like when I always have a lot of energy even if other have very little. I can never pay attention to class lectures, I start to tap my pencil loudly, then my teacher gives me a detention. I would not take it away, even if I had the chance to. I am good at remembering small details, like the parking number, but homework, I just lose it, I look for it, then realize that class started 15 minutes ago, so I go to class. I always forget like I am forgetting something. But when I am active, I feel like I am not forgetting anything. I always pay attention to the wrong things, like someones shirt color without noticing it. I realize that I was zoning out only after the teacher calls my name 3 times. Then people laugh at me.

  117. I hate “Boring Lecture” classes such as English or mathematics because I zone out and I don’t realize that until the teacher calls on me and I realize that I don’t even know which page that we were on. The teacher always says that I should be more focused during class and I try. I always forget my homework or textbook and my teacher scolds me for forgetting it. Then others laugh at me and I don’t like those classes for that. I am good at Art, PE, and Computer/Robotics. They keep me from having my ADHD episodes

  118. Honestly, it’s frustration. At 38 I’m just now realizing that I have ADD. “Unmotivated”, “lazy”, “worthless”, and “stupid” are words I’ve heard for decades to describe me from others. They don’t even have to outright say it, I can see it on their faces. “Why can’t I just do what needs to be done? Why can’t I finish this project or that project? I should really start that project.” “Why did I leave the mayonnaise out? Great, now I have to buy yet another jar.” “Glad I went to the store, wait…I forgot the mayonnaise!” “Oh, I’ve got plenty of time to get to work…Oh no, I spent too much time, I’m going to be late now!”

  119. I have never been diagnosed with adhd, but at a young age, I was always distracted easily! I was always in trouble in class for talking or just not paying attention. The worst part is when I got a little older I wanted to pay attention and I would sit in class and try… but before I new it I was spacing out with different stories or theories in my brain. I always noticed eventually that I had quit listening but by that time class would be over or onto a new subject.
    Now that I’m older it is the same I try to get ready for work, no matter what I am running late, yes I have 3 children to get ready but even I will get up earlier and still run late due to distractions going on in my own head.
    At work things seem to take me longer to finish or I’m distracted by things people talk about in my office so I’m doing my work but have 4 or 5 different things going on in my head. While this is going on I can listen to 2 or 3 conversations going on and be thinking about all of them, plus answering the phone and helping a customer.
    By the end of work I’m heading home replaying conversations. Watching everything, from license plate numbers and vehicles to street names. You name it I could probably tell you the license plates of vehicles I see daily. “Hey I know that license plate I saw this car last week on the way home.” And I live in a pretty large city.
    Then I’m home trying to cook, clean, help the kids with homework all at the same time. Dinner always takes me longer, than my my husband due to the fact I’m all over the place. Sometimes I want to talk or tell a story and I cannot get all my thoughts out. I get fusterated like don’t you understand what I am trying to say…..
    Everyone says slow down, but I can’t. Only think of one thing at a time. But I can’t I still have everything at work replaying in my brain, I am listening to what is playing on my son’s device, my baby talking, my husband talking and all of it running around in my head as I cook, clean, and more!
    Sometimes it is so emotional I don’t know where to begin.

  120. Well, this how my ADHD feels to me: ADHD (inattentive subtype)

    1. Unlike neurotypicals, and through absolutely no choice of my own, I absolutely hate everything that is not either interesting or soothing. Of course, most people dislike doing or spending time on things that are not interesting or soothing such as chores. But as an ADHD, I absolutely hate those things : both the thought of them and the doing of them makes me feel almost unbearably restless and trapped. Don’t get-me-wrong though: this can never be offered up as an excuse, so to carry my fair share of chores in any team (at home or work) I do my full fair share of these things. They even become a habit, which is quite an achievement for me, but the extreme discomfort still does not reduce much. I cannot complain because it would sound like a lightweight winger. Some of these tasks I don’t do: mainly the ones that cause inconvenience only to me, and I kick myself with guilt and self dislike, for causing myself such inconvenience. This can be incorrectly interpreted by me and the neurotypical world as an amoral lack of self discipline (which it is not, but it is difficult for neurotypicals to understand or appreciate) The flip side is that for things that DO interest me, I can do them for a much longer duration and to a significantly higher standard than the average neurotypical – this I’m told is the common ability for ADHD’s to hyper-focus – thought the super achievement and success will often be met by silence from others, who are confused that someone they criticized for being scatty and unreliable last week – can now massively outperform them an everyone else this week.

    2. I am usually extremely focused, but this is often an involuntary focus on the interesting thoughts going on in my own head, and not on the less interesting world around me. So while I came in the front-door 10 minutes ago, I cannot tell you where I put my keys: I can suddenly snap out of my thoughts, to find I am driving in completely the wrong direction: I can put the breakfast serial box in the fridge; forget a name that has been told to me 3 times; and completely forget an appointment because I am so engrossed. This is interpreted by the neurotypical world as an inappropriate choice to daydream and be unreliable. They do not realise, it is not a choice. And when I make the gargantuan sustained effort that is required to reduce the incidence of these oversights by say 95%, I am still dissed for the reaming 5%.

    3. Despite the above, I would not want to give up the advantages of being ADHD : If I had a magic wand that could waive away it way, I think I would also lose the ability to achieve to my own satisfaction in the things to Do interest me. Finding a profession which truly interested me, and a workplace with a good mentor to help me develop professionally did not happen until I was in my late 30’s, (and all the while I was gradually learning how to be more reliable, and follow behavioural norms within groups), and then I took off like a bird. I’m still different, it’s still hard, but it is exhilarating. Teaching others is a core part of what I do and ADHD is a really big advantage here. I design materials and lectures in the way I would like them to have been designed when I was learning: making them genuinely interesting – helping learners to derive principles by problem solving rather than simply telling them; and taking them on a step by step journey with no missing steps! Happily the results are very well received, and I would not be able to do this if I didn’t know what it was like to find classroom learning hard.

    4. My motivation and attention do Not seam to have settings from 1 to 10 like most neurotypicals. I just have two settings ie 1 OR 10 ! It takes things to be either very interesting, hazardous, or competitive, to snap the switch from 1 to 10 And when it does, there are few who can outperform.

    5. The choice to tell my employer and work colleges I am ADHD was easy : I didN’T’! For two reasons : First, the neurotypical world is not yet ready to understand ADHD : it still sounds to them like an excuse for “choosing” laziness, day-dreaming and unreliability. Secondly, because ADHD is incorrectly named! – it suggests an attention deficit – which is of course not true. We can pay much more attention than average folk to things that interest or stimulate us, we are on average of higher intelligence (sounds snobby but it’s scientifically confirmed), and when we are motivated we can achieve very highly indeed. So our condition should be called something along the lines of Attention Hyper-focus Variant AHV: I propose the world “variant” as we are variety of human – a natural and useful variant. NOT the dreadfully negative labels of Deficit! and Disorder!

  121. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 3rd grade. I had so much trouble focusing in school. I was full of so much energy and my mind and thoughts were strewn all over the place. They started me on Adderall. It helped at first. But the side effects were bad. When the Adderall was working it’s “magic”, I would lose my appetite during the day until it wore off and I would become hungry. This lead to rapid weight gain and troubles sleeping at night. Due to my diagnosis, I would speak quickly, and people wouldn’t be able to understand what I was saying. I usually spoke what came to mind without thinking about my words because my thoughts were going a thousand miles an hour. That lead to some problems because people thought I was rude and blunt. Insomnia became a problem and I was put on sleep medications until middle school. Eventually I was taken of the Adderall due to a few health problems such as increased heart rate and some mental health issues such as depression. Overtime, although I still have some minor problems with ADHD, I’ve somewhat outgrown my ADHD. It took time to learn how to “handle” it. I’ve learned to redirect myself and have found ways to deal with my constantly energized state. Those ways include fidget toys that are quiet, as not to bother those around me, and exercise before I get ready for the day and before I go to bed. I don’t recommend caffeine products in the morning. They only make me tired. I do drink tea with caffeine in it before bed because I know I’ll be tired after consuming caffeine. If you’re like me in that way, I recommend caffeine at night. Also a better alternative to the sleep medicine that ends up affecting you in the morning with trouble getting up would be melatonin. Two 10mg tablets of melatonin work for me. Thanks for reading!

  122. I’m 19 and ADHD.. These are typical scenarios in my life:
    An email pops into my inbox. I check it out. If it’s more than two sentences, my mind drifts off. If I manage to read through, I open my files. Look at all folders and have no idea which one I need. So I go back to my email and have no idea why I just opened my email. I click through my inbox randomly and find another email I’m supposed to take care of. So I run to get the phone and when I want to dial the numbers I don’t know whom to dial.
    Run to my room to grab a book. Get to my room and I don’t know why I just got here. Find my dirty socks scattered on the floor and pick them up to take them to the hamper. I find myself in the kitchen with a pair of socks. ‘What the hell am I doing here, duh.” And I have to concentrate hard to remember why it is I’m holding my socks and what I ought to do with them, but for the life of me I can’t recall.
    I search Alibaba for good stuff to sell on Amazon. I want to get rich and get rich FAST. NOW. I think I found a good product so I run to check if it’s already being sold on Amazon. I get to Amazon and get distracted by soooo many colorful and exciting products, I completely forget why I came here in the first place. I decide on a product spontaneously, and have an instant, powerful URGE, NEED, to place the order NOW, as we speak, or else, I caaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!
    If work requires me to open a boring google drive file, I will find myself browsing helplessly through Youtube videos.
    One of the things I can’t do: Walk ice. I am unable to focus on each step so I’m doomed to slip and crash.

  123. For me, ADHD feels like being a very large ship on a raging sea filled to the brim with thoughts, feelings, and emotions packed into boxes… the problem is that the ship is equipped with steering on both ends and the 2 ends are always pulling away from the other.

  124. I like to think of my mind like a giant whiteboard. For the average mind, their whiteboard is easy to read. Tasks and reminders are listed in bullet points, color coded, with the important things written in bright red, underlined and circled and separate from the rest of the words on the board. Some people might have messier handwriting and some people might not have everything color coded, but it’s at least legible.

    But my whiteboard is very different. The handwriting is horribly illegible, the words are all written at random angles and sizes, and somebody’s sleeve dragged across half the words. The tasks are written over each other, the reminders overlapping and clashing, and I can never tell what’s important and what isn’t. I’ve written “MAKE YOUR CAR PAYMENT” at least six times this week, but somehow they’ve all gotten lost between “Binge watch Doctor Who” and “Just one more chapter” and “Spaghettio’s sound really good right now…”.

    It’s maddening trying to find my way around it all…and often, right when I think I’ve made progress, something distracts me. It’s like somebody has taken that bright red marker and written…say… “YOUTUBE” in massive bold all-capital letters, underlined it, circled it three times, and set it to the tune of a loud and obnoxious song. Suddenly that’s the ONLY thing on the whiteboard that matters, and until I manage to drag myself back to some semblance of focus, nothing else written beneath it with look like anything more than squiggly lines.

    Absolute maddening insanity.

    Occasionally, that Big Bold Word™ is something useful, like “WRITE THREE CHAPTERS IN ONE SITTING” or “ORGANIZE YOUR ENTIRE DRESSER” but more often than not, it’s just a useless and distracting – albeit entertaining – side task.

    Procrastination at its finest. 🙂

  125. Crippling. It feels like your brain is made of brick and you’re just a zombie walking around in the moment. There is no contemplation of the past, it’s as though the last few hours of your memory are completely blank the entire time. Medication helps bring you back to reality. You can look forward and back and see a bigger picture even for the most mundane and routine things. But on your bad ADHD days, you’ll feel like you’re helpless and bound. You have a body but you are unable to make the most of it because that’s the hardest part about ADHD. Every single day is a battle in a never ending war and you just have to make the most of it. I hope my thoughts resonate with someone who’s going through the same and helps them.

  126. Hi Adam,
    I’m having neuro-psych testing in April for “memory problems”. I just read the experiences above and I think I have ADHD.
    I have a cranial nerve disorder and have had several brain surgeries and have chalking most of my problems up to that but after reading this I’m really taken back. This is really helpful. Thank you.

  127. It’s mentally exhausting. I wasn’t diagnosed until last year at 29, because school interested me and I was always hyperfocused, plus I have a need to please everyone around me. I am known as the ditzy, scatterbrained, creative genius of the family. Daily tasks are so overwhelming. I constantly feel like I’m lazy, and wonder why most simple tasks that people do on a daily basis are so overwhelming for me. But I can tackle a giant, complex project like organizing people’s homes or decorating for 10 hours straight without even pausing to eat. My brain desperately wants to focus on one thing it finds interesting, but with kids and life, I’m constantly getting my attention ripped away and it’s physically painful. The amount of mental games I go through to complete tasks like doing the dishes is laughable. When I try to explain how my brain works to my husband, he only shakes his head and says it sounds exhausting. It is.

  128. I’m a commercial pilot with stereotypical ADD symptoms. I definitely don’t have ADHD – it’s ADD for sure.

    The hardest part of getting my flight bag packed, driving to the airport, planning the flight, pre-flighting the jet, taxi, takeoff, navigation through thunderstorms to a complicated instrument approach to a short runway with multiple system failures and constant context switching is…. getting my flight bag packed and driving to the airport. Those two things are not sufficiently complex, so I just don’t properly engage in them.

    But blow out the fan blades on an engine, at night, in a thunderstorm, and fail half the systems on the plane, and I will get you on the ground safely, every time. I have ADD, sure, but I’m the guy you want in the nose of that bird on a dark and stormy night.

  129. To me ADHD feels like Im in a formula 1 face with a drag car because formula 1 typically has outrageous turns and Drag cars have enormous turning radiuses. or like Im on a road trip in my own head and Im somehow lost.

  130. When I become slightly stressed, no matter the situation, my brain stops. Black screen. Panic ensues and i cry. I just took some tests on lumosity and most questions, i black screened on. i can not think ahead unless i have a LOT of time to do so. it feels like my brain runs on the ‘low’ setting. i know that i AM capable of training my brain to run on higher settings but in order to do this, im gonna have to get stressed, brain shuts off, then i restart back on low. kind of like a phone that ran out of space because there are too many applications open. i have to factory reset in order to start clearly.

  131. ADHD:
    It’s like a high you can’t escape, or too much caffeine without the actual caffeine and your brain goes in a million places at the same time, all except the one place your supposed to be in, and you realize that you just spent ten minutes staring at a page of a si-fi book thinking about why grass is green and if a rhino really is a unicorn and a gazillion other random topics. Or is this just me.

  132. The way I described my ADD to my therapist, I told her it was like an old TV where the picture wouldnt come in quite right or it was just all snow with each dot & each little line being a separate thought. After I’ve been on a medicinal/herbal regimine, I feel like the TV has come more into focus & a tangible image can be seen in the background, but there are still multiple lines that skitter accross the screen as different lines of thought. Mindfulness therapies have made the most difference & I doscovered my “super power” with ADD is seeing or hearing or just picking up on certain details one might not normally pay attention to, similar to a mentalist 🙂

  133. It’s like watching all your mistakes through a screen. You can see it all happen, but aren’t always able to do anything about it. When I’m being annoying, ranting on about something or doing the wrong thing, the chances are, I’m aware of it too. I do not want to be seen as the annoying one or that I don’t care about how I come across to people, especially around the people I love. I hate it! I hate it so so much but I can’t seem to help making mistakes and failing to complete basic tasks that are and should be easy. It is literally the most stressful thing ever. It just makes a person feel really stupid and embarrassed.

    All my life I have been told “you aren’t living up to your full potential” and I’ve literally watched myself try and fail constantly and it sucks. The sheer amount of energy it takes an add/ adhd brain to start and complete a task is unfair. we often try harder than the people around us to achieve ordinary goals but still fall behind. It really takes a toll on one’s self esteem but with perseverance we’ll get through it.

  134. I feel like I am constantly putting on a show. But behind the curtain everyone is running into each other trying to figure out the next scene and find all the props. It’s chaotic and tiring, and no matter how hard I rehearse or prepare, I always seem late, unprepared, or forget something. I reread things and sometimes I try so hard to focus that i start focusing on being focused and have to reread the whole thing because I wasn’t focused on the sentence. Used to happen on all of my tests right towards the end. I was always the last one done. Ugh and the dreaded timed tests. Once it gets down to 10 minutes left I could never focus because I was so focused on the ticking time. I hope that all makes sense. I find seasonal jobs work well for me because I get so bored with doing repetitive mundane tasks and the average day to day activities, I want something more challenging. Just wish I could pull those curtains back and show everyone all the tiring work that actually goes on, instead of the shit show they see everyday.

  135. I really found this article relatable even though i pretty much miss the last few sentences in almost every paragraph due to those annoying little “share bubbles that cover the corners(facebook,twitter etc..) i would love to remove them and read the entire thing but i know that if i try it will lead to my branching off into five other things…(ADHD in full glory can steal an entire day with a few poorly placed bubbles…)

  136. It feels like my brain is frozen. I feel paralyzed in all aspects of life. I want to do things but my brain won’t let me. I’m constantly on the go and so is my mind. Unfortunately I was only diagnosed this year and I am so angry that this was not caught earlier. I have struggled so much and have been suicidal for so long. It breaks my own heart to know how much I was tossed around my entire life by doctors, my parents and teachers. No one tried to helped me.’I really hope there will be a day that no one has to suffer this way.

  137. It feels like I am trying to watch hundreds of TVs all on different channels while trying to listen to every song you can imagine and trying to sing along with all of them. I am 14 and was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety when I was 11-13. When I was 8 my dog and my great grandfather died, I had a heck of a time recovering from that, and when I was 11 my best friend died by suicide, – He hung himself. – I went to a mental hospital because of suicidal thoughts and anger outbursts, I really am a good kid, but I struggle with everyday tasks like socializing and walking in a crowded hall or focusing. I want to get better, how do I get the help I need?

  138. One thing I didn’t notice anyone mention is that, for me, I have a hard time seeing “the trees for the forest,” rather than “the forest for the trees.”

    It’s like I see everything from above, looking down, but I can’t bring myself down to the ground to see the things in front of me.

    I usually see and understand the big picture much more quickly and clearly than others, but I have a hard time conceptualizing and acting upon the small details (“the trees”). It’s like when I even try to think about them, often, my head goes blank, and I can’t figure out how/where to start. So, I start researching, but then even if I create a list, I feel “disconnected” from it, and can’t gather up the motivation to act upon it–even when I am very excited about the big picture project itself.

    I love exploring ideas and finding solutions to problems (fixing things), but I have a hard time creating things from scratch and managing all of the details. I’m usually either focusing on everything or nothing (“zen mind” lol), or I’m hyperfocusing on the wrong thing (usually something big picture)!

    Finally, when “emergency mode” hits and I am able to hyperfocus on the thing that has to be finished, everything else I need to do “flies away” just like the balloons in the picture shared above (and I drop the ball on them).

    My task list often feels like a “nice to do someday” list that gives me no real motivation until tasks reach “emergency mode/” Rationally, I understand what I’m supposed to do, I just can’t do it most of the time. Instead, I just think about doing it, while giving myself “one more minute” to do other things (mainly researching stuff) that end up taking all day/night long.

    I often feel “stuck.”

  139. For me my ADHD feels like understeering, not only that my mind is always repeating stuff constantly, it could be a song, or something i said, or something i heard or thought about saying, ill repeat it, and repeat it, until something else distracts me to repeat something different, and it tortures me everyday, i feel like a broken record, or even at that a record with no off button, it wears me out and gives me constant headaches, when i was 11 years old i was diagnosed with it and been taking medication up until my mom passed away, im 28 years old now and i cant handle day to day task and cannot hold a job for the life of me, i have no idea how to control my mind racing a thousands miles a second, im suffering bad from this and im so drained mentally from it, if i can just stop my brain from repeating every little thing i feel i could finally sleep peacefully for once, if anyone can please explain to me if there is some way to ease this i would deeply appreciate it, ive giving up at this point and im really wanting some sort of answer…

    1. I can relate to that Austin. Maybe u should get back on medication. The meds I take help a lil bit n in some cases I can actually fall 🍂 asleep in less than an hour when it usually takes longer. Do some research online too, there are some diets u can try that they say 💭 helps ppl with ADHD. I was just reading a bunch of articles about it. The site was called ADDitudemag.com, check ✔ it out, it was a very interesting read. Wishing u the best!

  140. Mine sometimes reminds me of a handful of bouncy rubber balls ..you know , like the kind you get out if those quarter bubblegum machines ? Each ball is a task .you start off with each one , individually until you realize the task you’re on has something that goes to one of the other tasks ( rubber balls ) this continues fir awhile until your mind is completely off course …let’s say while you’re holding all of these rubber balls in a big empty room , this represents my mind .( Its .supposed to be clear, empty of any distracting items ) ..suddenly you wonder what would it look like if you just threw all of the rubber balls All at once ..and then trying to catch them 2-3 or more at a time ..yeah .that me sometimes ..and NOTHING really gets finished in a timely or complete manner ..ugh!! I’m always moving , fidgeting , my mind wanders I call it going down the rabbitthole labrynth of whatever site I’m looking at ..then getting lost ..or have you ever had that moment where you’re doing something , but you’re so focused in something else while your doing something mundane that you’re like you’re in autopilot and completely forget where you just placed something or forgetting whether or not you actually did something like locking a door ..even though you JUST walked away from the door ?!?! ..I don’t take anything right now fir mine , and I was diagnosed later in life ..like in my 30s but I always wondered wtf was going on w me ..why was my mind racing ? Why , even though I can add subtract ..count just fine ..do I have to be in a quiet area to count down a drawer ? Need s ratch paper ? Or even though I am fairly intelligent , why is it easier for me to write down what I’m trying so hard and failing to express with my mouth ? I just can’t get the words out right ..if at all ..
    I’m easily distracted , I do like the guy above , hum ..like ALL THE TIME, Even talk out loud to myself when I do something stupid ..or lose things even when I’ve only JUST set them down somewhere ..I’ve gotten a little better at these things but some days ..it’s bad ..omg ..

  141. I see I too am late to the game here but I felt the need to chime in anyway. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, I’m 55 now so having ADHD all my life has definitely been a challenge to say 💭 the least. I would always describe my ADHD as someone constantly changing the radio 📻 station 🚉, or tv 📺 channels. School 🏫 was a nightmare for me! I struggled so much I ended up quitting my 2nd year of 9th grade.
    I was never able to do office 🏢 type work, I had to be moving all the time. I always had physical labor jobs so that I was always doing something, anything! But my last job left me w/a life long disability so I haven’t been able to work for quite some time n not being able to do a whole lot now is driving me insane! My mind NEVER stops! Trying to fall 🍂 asleep has always been difficult. I would always shake my foot 👣 to go to sleep 💤 n still do. The medication I take helps a lil bit so I keep taking it. Idk about the rest of u but I find it frustrating when dealing w/ppl who just don’t understand, like when I deal w/ppl over the phone 📱, ie cable company, electric co ect. I always feel completely misunderstood, like, am I speaking in swalheely or something? I feel as if I need to wear a t-shirt 👕 that says, WARNING ⚠ I have ADHD n I know how to use it! Lol 😆 . So that’s part of my story. Thank you all for sharing yours.

  142. That’s an interesting analogy that ADHD is like a computer with low ram. I would think that would make it hard to focus on more than one thing at once. I would think that would be like trying to run too many programs at once and would overload the brain. That’s interesting to learn a bit more about how ADHD affects you.

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